A Wish in Time
by SINGACTWRITE123
Summary: What happens when you make a wish you might regret? Meredith learns this the hard way when she wakes up in the body of an intern once again. When nobody believes her crazy story, how will she get back to present time?
1. Wish

**Disclaimer: Do I own Grey's? I WISH! But seriously... no. Unfortunately not.**

**Originally posted in another fanfiction account- my friend's because she forgot to log out- so those of you who are confused, that's the reasoning. LOL**

The rain beat down on the glass of their bedroom window. It was strangely mesmerizing to watch. It could distract a person from their own tears, as if it were crying for them. The lightning would flash, covering the world in a blanket of light. The thunder blocked out all sounds. It was as if it caused life to pause for a short time.

Meredith stared at the water that ran down the window, barely blinking at all. Her hands clutched something to her chest, something that made her already bad day even worse.

The door to her room opened, sending in a flood of light from the hallway. She his her face in her pillow, trying to hide away from the world. Reality sucked.

"Mer," a voice whispered. "Are you awake?"

Meredith closed her eyes, not responding, motionless as someone sat on the bed beside her. Fingers ran through her hair and she took a deep breath at the feeling. The hands felt comforting, but they couldn't fix the pain that ripped through her heart. The fingers moved down to her cheeks, wiping off the drying tears that she hadn't bothered with.

She had to stay 'asleep'. She couldn't talk about it at the moment. It was too hard. But her own emotions betrayed her, and without being able to control it, her face scrunched up and another wave of tears wracked her body, scaring both the man who was sitting beside her and herself.

"Meredith!" Derek suddenly gasped. "What's wrong?"

Without responding out loud, she handed over the pregnancy test and then hid her face away in the pillow that was damp with her tears.

"Another negative," Derek mumbled sadly. "Aw, Mer. It'll be okay. Come here."

Arms wrapped around her body, and she fought against clawing at them and pushing at them with her hands. "No! Please!" she sobbed. "No!"

The arms didn't budge and she gave up, collapsing into his them. "Derek!" she cried. "Why is it so hard for us to get pregnant? W-why does my uterus have t-to be so freaking h-hostile?"

"Shh," Derek soothed quietly. "Deep breaths Mer."

"My day was horrible!" she cried loudly, knowing that everyone in the house had heard, knowing that they would simply stay away just like she needed them to.

They would all let Derek do his job.

"I'm sorry you lost your patient today," Derek said softly.

"But how did you-

"Cristina told me. Mer, it's not your fault. It happens. As doctors, we lose our patients and there is nothing we can do to stop it."

Her sobs were quieting down, but her sadness was too overpowering.

"Derek," she whimpered. "Why does life have to be so upsetting lately? I mean... look at us! Izzie left! George _died_! Lexie practically hates Mark! And I can't get pregnant for my life! Why? What happened to the days when we were interns? When everything was simple?"

"Nothing was simple Mer. There was Addison and-

"I get it, okay? There was Addison and Mark slept with her and bla bla bla. But I was carefree and happy and I had all my friends. And to be honest Derek, sometimes... I wish I could just go back to those days!" Her consciousness began to waver. "Back to when it was all so simple."

The rain began to slow outside, and through the clouds, she saw a flash through the sky.

**A/N: HI GUYS. YOU WILL FIND OUT MORE OF THE BAD DAY THROUGH FLAHSBACKS. MEREDITH WILL SOON LEARN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MAKE A WISH THAT YOU MAY REGRET. I DON'T HAVE THIS STORY ENTIRELY PLANNED OUT, THIS IDEA JUST CAME TO ME AND I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE IT. SO PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YA THINK. THANKS.**


	2. 2005

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

She sat up with a start. Her head had been resting on the edge of the sofa and she had been laying on her stomach. Her eyes felt glassy.

The cold air blew against her skkin and she had the sudden realization that she wasn't wearing any clothes.

_Ugh, how much did I have to drink?_ Meredith growled in her mind when suddenly a thought hit her hard. _Wait a minute... I'm trying to get pregnant. I wasn't drinking._

Her eyes darted around the room as her arms clutched around her chest. She was on the sofa in the living room, completely naked. Anyone in the house could be coming down stairs at any time. She didn't know what had happened, but she knew she needed to cover up.

Her eyes caught hold of the blanket that lay on the floor on top of something, and as she reached to grab it, a huge flash of de ja vus hit her. The blanket fell from her hand without a second thought as she dropped back onto the sofa.

The sofa wasn't in this possition yesterday, and there weren't boxes everywhere either. Someone must have set this up as a joke. She was going to kill Cristina. She realized this as she stared down at the naked man on the floor.

"Derek!" she hissed suddenly, staring at his naked back side. She kicked it with her foot and then curled back up on the sofa, covering her chest with her knees. "Derek!"

Derek groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair and then pushed himself off of the ground to look up at her. The second she saw it, she shrieked at the top of her lungs. "Holly mother- what the hell?" she screamed.

Derek shouted in fear at her sudden outburt, falling backwards on the ground. "What? What's wrong?" he demanded, eyes wide.

"You're face!" she yelled.

"What? What about it?" Derek gapsed in shock, wiping his hands across it.

"It's so young! And your hair! It longer! What the hell happened to you?"

"What are ou talking about? We've never met before in our lives!" Derek exclaimed. "What, is this some kind of joke or something?"

He looked amazing, his hair long and curley and that young glint in his eyes was back.

"You're dreaming," Meredith whispered to herself, hiding her face against her naked knees. "This is all a dream. Wake up. Wake up."

"Hey you, I think you're still a bit drunk," Derek said, reaching to touch her knee softly.

She recoiled back into the couch. Derek quickly yanked his boxers on and then handed Meredith the blanket to which she accepted with shaking hands.

"Listen... um... um...

"Meredith!" Meredith hissed in a whisper. "This isn't funny Derek! Stop it! It's scaring me! Is Cristina in on this or something?"

"Who's Cristina? What are you talking about?"

Meredith yanked at her hair with her hands and was shocked to find the side bangs that she had had years ago. "I need to find a miror!" she cried, jumping off of the sofa and rushing to the bathroom.

The blanket fell from her hands on the way. The second she saw her reflection, she jumped back into the wall, scraeming out in shock again. Her face was young and wrinkle free. Her hair looked the way it did when she was an intern. Come to think of it, she _was_ her intern self in that reflection.

Footsteps came darting through the hall and over to the bathroom. "Meredith!" Derek called. "Are you okay? What's wrong with you?"

"Me? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with everyone? I need to wake up! I need to wake up."

"I hate to break it to you, but you aren't dreaming. So if you could just tell me what's wrong..." He trailed off, shaking his head from side to side in confusion.

"I aqlready told you! This... I mean I... I don't know what's happening Derek! Please tell me you remember me!"

She stepped forwards and threw her arms around Derek. "Yeah, of course I remember you," he answered, sounding unsure.

"Really?" Meredith gasped, jumping back to look at him with hope bubbling behind her eyes.

"Yeah, the alcohol wasn't that strong. I remember you at the bar. I said I was just a guy and you said that you were just a girl. You had a bit too much to you do still know that you're naked right?"

Meredith backed away slowly. "Derek,?" she whispered.

The look in his eyes wasn't so casual with the way that he was staring at her body. It was as if he had never really seen it before. That's when it seemed ot hit her.

He hadn't.

She threw her arms over her chest awkwardly. Derek was still standing in his boxers, everything else completely bare.

"Derek," Meredith croaked.

"Yes?" he asked, too formally.

"W-what's the date?" Meredith asked slowly.

"March 27, 2005," Derek responded and Meredith choked on air.

She backed up intil her back hit the wall and she slid down the wall when it did. Derek bit his lip awkwardly. "I'll uh, I'll get your clothes."

"Okay," Meredith squeaked.

Derek dissapeared from the bathroom. The only thing she oculd do until she woke up from this nightmare was to remember how this all played out the first time.

"You should go!" Meredith called, trying to act normal.

Derek returned a moment later and dropped her clothes and the blanket in front of her on the floor. Meredith settled for grabbing the blanket, wrapping it around her, standing up and doing the best acting she could manage. "You really should go," she repeated flirtatiously. "Sorry abou that. Guess I'm still a bit drunk."

"Yeah. Guess so," Derek smirked. "Hey... we could um-

"Late for work," Meredith cut him off. "Leave now! See you later!"

"Wait... what?"

Meredith grabbed his clothes off the ground and toseed them to him before pushing him to the front door.

"Atleast let me get dressed before you-" He was cut off as the door was slammed in his face.

Meredith looked around the house slowly and felt her stomach turn. "What. The. Hell!"

**A/N: So what'd you think? I know, crazy chapter. LOL. Here's a hint, all of you George lovers will LOVE the next chapter. Because what happens if it's 5 years b4 he get's hit by the bus? )**


	3. First Day

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

How could this be happening?

How on earth could she be an intern?

Meredith clawed at her hair as she sunk down to the floor of her shower. Her legs were too weak to stand up on.

It was 2011 when she went to sleep, and when she woke up it was 2005.

She felt like she could throw up. In fact, there was a good chance that she would if she didn't get a hold of herself quickly.

"How could this happen?" she whispered to herself once again, looking around the shower where Derek had accompanied her many times before in the past. "I wish I knew...

She traield off, thinking over what she had just said.

_"I wish I could just go back to those days!"_

Meredith gasped as it hit her like a ton of bricks.

_"Back to when it was all so simple."_

Her hand shot up and turned the water off in one swift movement and she forced herself out of the shower.

_"Back to when it was all so simple."_

"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no."

_"Back to when it was all so simple."_

"No!" Meredith shrieked. "There is _nothing _simple aout this!"

If this was the day that Derek said it was, then she was about ot be late for work. Without even thinking, she walked straight out into her bedroom and looked through her old outfits, easily picking out which one she had worn on her first day. How could she forget?

"There has to be an explanation for all of this. Derek must be trying to teach me a lesson," she whispered ot herself, but knew that this was all to crazy to be a prank.

She had to get to the hospital and find Cristina. She could probably help. Right?

* * *

She hadn't drove this car in a long time. Now, Derek and her usually drove to work together in his SUV.

Literally, just _yesterday_ Derek was driving them to work in his car.

_"Meredith," Deek said, interupting thier silent car ride._

_Meredith turned ot him with a huge smile. "Yes?" she asked, not able to hide the glint in her eye._

_Derek smirked, chuckling lightly. "What are you so happy about?"_

_Meredith giggled and replied sarcastically. "i don't know what you're talking about," she lied._

_"Yes you do," Derek shot back at her and reached over to tickle her side from his seat. She started cracking up and pushed his hand back to the wheel. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."_

_"Okay fine," Meredith gave in. "I think I'm pregnant."_

_Derek's smile faded for a moment before bouncing back full-force. "Do you know for sure?"_

_"No... but I can feel it. And based on what happened with the bomb, we both know that my feelings mean something."_

_Derek grabbed her hand. "I hope you're right."_

It took her a moment to realize that she was sitting in a parked car, staring out at nothing.

Meredith took a deep breath and then grabbed her purse and walked out of the car, starting off towards the building.

She just couldn't seem to walk through those front doors though.

Instead, she pressed her back against the wall and turned away from them.

But as she looked looked into the distance, she saw a nurse pulling up in her car that had used to work at the hospital.

Olivia. She easily remembered her. The girl who gave George Syphilis. She had left the hospital and moved to another state when she had gotten too many people angry with her.

But wait a second... if she was here... then was George...

_No!_ Meredith quickly stopped herself. _He couldn't be! Impossible!_

But then again, everything else had seemed impossible this morning too.

Meredith pulled her cellphone out of her purse with shaky hands and searched through her contacts. His name wasn't added yet, but she could never forget his number.

She had called it many times after his death just to hear his voice in the recording, but evntually when she called it the number became disconected after his mother had accidentally called it and gotten heartbroken at the voice she heard. So they had the number disconected and given out to a new person.

Meredith bit her lip as she dialed in the ten digits that used to be his number and then pressed it to her ear.

Ring...

_Holy crap it's ringing._

Ring...

_Meredith, this is stupid. Just hang up. _

Ring...

_Just hang up before some person you don't know picks up._

Ring...

_That's it, I'm hanging up right now_

Ring- "Hello," an unsure, awkward voice answered.

Meredith screamed into the phone and heard an equally freaked out shout in responce ot hers on the other line. "Whoa! Geeze! Who is this-

Meredith through her phone and watched it slide across the ground and crack multiple times before tipping over into a drain.

She fell back against the wall, catching her breath. Now she knew for sure. There was no _way_ that this could be a joke.

"Dude! Are you okay?" a voice asked her.

She turned to find a young version of her friend, watching her. His face was shaven, something she hadn't seen in a long time. In a way he looked... too clean.

He was staring at her with those curious eyes, that were easily moving into the flirting danger zone.

"Alex!" Meredith whispered to herself. "Thank God!"

She was sbout to hug him, but backed up into the wall when she saw the smirk on his face. He was getting ready to flirt with her.

"W-what are you doing?" Meredith stammered.

Alex leaned in closer to her, placing one hand on the wall next to her. "Anything you want baby," he responded.

Meredith's eyes widened and she gagged in disgust.

"What the hell! Alex it's _me_!" Meredith spat.

"Me who?" Alex asked, seductively.

"Me as in _Meredith_! You're friend!"

"Ooh, so we're friends now? Could we be more?"

She had forgotten how much of a gerk he had been before he met Izzie.

"Go talk to Izzie!" Meredith growled, pushing past him.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, don't be like that."

Meredith ignored him and threw the front door open and strolled right through it with Alex directly behind her. "Hey wait up!" he called.

Meredith quickened her pace and ran down the stairwell, taking a left instead of the usual right and cutting through hallways and shortcuts that she knew of that Alex didn't yet.

She made it to the first O.R. that she had ever been inside in this hospital. The cheif was just finishing his speech.

"And two of you will be kicked out," he finished, his eyes snapping to Meredith as she burst through the door.

Alex stood in a corner, smirking at her. With all of the secret hallways she had taken, it had actually taken her longer than it took Alex to get there.

"Nice of you to join us. I would know you anywhere _Dr. _Grey," the cheif winked at her, stepping past her so he could make it to the hallway.

The immature ones- which was actually most of the interns- laughed quietly to themselves.

Meredith payed no attention to it, knowing that eventually they would all grow out of it.

The interns began to head to the lockers and Meredith unconciously followed behind them. When she caught the glimpse of dark curley hair, she quickly chased after it.

"Cristina," she called. "Cristina!"

"Hey, Meredith right?" a voice said from behind her, causing her attention to snap towards it.

Cristina looked around, trying to find the source of the voice, but Meredith was too caught up in the person that was standing right next to her to announce that she was the owner of it.

"George," Meredith whispered.

"Yeah," George said, looking at her with googly eyes. "I remember you from the 'mixer' thing. You were wearing that black dress with the slit on the side and those strappy sandles and, oh no, now you think I'm gay."

Meredith was just staring at him with wide eyes. "No I don't," she whispered, smiling through the tears in her glassy eyes. Her hand slowly reached forward and touched his cheek, quickly pulling it back when she realized how real he was.

"Um... what are you doing?" George asked, completely confused.

Meredith bit her knuckle, fighting tears. Without even thinking, she threw her arms around him quickly, feeling him tense, and then turning and running away before he could ask questions.

The tears started falling then. Meredith stumbled into the nearest bathroom and ran into one of the stalls where she fell to her knees and his her face in her hands.

"Hey," a voice said from outside the door.

_Izzie. _"Hey, you okay in there?"

A foot kicked the door lightly open. Meredith hadn't bothered to lock it earlier.

"Are you okay?" Izzie gasped.

Mereidth clenched her teeth in frustration and fear. Izzie stood over her, having her long blond hair with the side bangs back. She looked so young that it made Meredith's heart ache. That was the hair that she would crop to her shoulders in just a few years and soon after that she would begin to lose it from the chemo.

"Yeah," Meredith finally croaked out. "Just a bad day."

"And it barely even started," Izzie replied half-heartedly. "I got 'the natzi' as my resident," Izzie sighed.

"You mean Dr. Bailey?" Meredith asked, and then caught herself. "I have the same resident."

"You know," Izzie said, tryin got make conversation. "Who knows why they call her the natzi? Maybe it's proffesional jealousy. Maybe she's nice."

"Yeah," Meredith muttered, knowing that underneith all that 'Bailey' there was a kind woman who would soon have a son and act like she was their mother. "Maybe."

"I'm Izzie by the way."

Izzie reached down and Meredith accepted her hand without a second thought. Izzie helped her stand up."I'm Meredith," Meredith said.

"I would offer a hug, but you don't seem like the hugging type."

Meredith bit her lip. "I'm not," she sighed, wanting to hug the blond so badly. She had barely spoken to her at all within a year, and here she was standing right in front of her. She wasn't the Izzie that had been screwed up. She had never lost Denny yet; never had Cancer; never fallen in love; gotten married; ran out on her husband- Alex; never escaped all of them. She was still the good old Izzie that was one of her closest friends. The naive, sensitive, overly dramatic Izzie. "But I'll make an exception this one time," Meredith sighed and quickly pulled Izzie into a hug.

Izzie giggled. "Didn't expect that from Ellis Grey's daughter."

Meredith squeezed her eyes shut and then they snapped back open. Wait a second... if George was still alive... then so was her mother.

"Hello, you in there? Hello?" Izzie called, shaking Meredith who was still hugging her.

It was comforting to hug her friend who still wore that really strong perfume. "Y-yeah," Meresith stuttered. "I'm fine. Thanks Iz," she said and then her eyes got wider. "-zie, Izzie."

"Hey, let's go see this so called 'Natzi'."

Meredith gave the best smile that she could and followed Izzie out of the bathroom.

They quickly caught up with Cristina and George who Meredith couldn't keep her eyes off of. Alex hadn't been asigned to Bailey yet, Meredith remembered that.

"Hi," Meredith said to Cristina.

"Hey," Cristina responded unenthusiastically.

George was staring at Meredith strangely. "What was with the -um- hug?" he forced out.

"Just being friendly," Meredith responded.

"She's a hugger," Izzie giggled.

Cristina rolled her eyes. Meredith couldn't start off being this 'bright and shiny' acting if she wanted to win over Cristina who she needed the most out of all of this.

"No I'm not!" Meredith insisted. "I just... I don't know. It was nothing."

"Geeze, relax," Cristina said, rolling her eyes again.

That's when Dr. Bailey finally turned to them. "Hi, I'm Isabelle Stevens, but everyone calls me Izzie," Izzie said, reaching her hand out.

The de ja veus was so strong that Meredith got dizzy. She knew what was coming next.

"I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't even bother suckin gup ot me. I already hate you, that's not gonna change...

**A/N: So what'd you think? I have alot more planned out for this. I ended it here because it was getting to be a long chapter and I wanted to put it up.**

**I went back to watch the first episode to remember what the interns were like and OMG, amazing. I miss the old Grey's.**


	4. Ellis Grey's daughter

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

Meredith looked around, knowing that nobody else was going to say it.

"You said there were five rules," she muttered to Bailey who was still glaring in their direction. She could glare all she wanted, Meredith wasn't afraid of her. She used to be but not anymore. "That was only four."

Bailey considered this for a moment. "Rule number five!" she snapped and george jumped at her loud voie. "When I move, you move!"

And then Bailey was running down the hall and the others were following her. Meredith stared after her in annoyance. She had hated being an intern the first time and she would hate it the second time.

They were heading up to the roof and Meredith knew what was coming. Katie Bryce who was seizing and had recently fallen and sprained her ankle. She had ruptured and anurism. It had taken them forever to discover this the first time. But now she knew.

As they ran through the hallway she did a double take when she saw a man she hadn't seen in years. Preston Burke.

But if he was here... then Owen wasn't yet! And neither was Callie, Arizona, Mark or "Lexie!" Meredith gasped out loud, earning a few stares from the others.

"What did you say?" Bailey snapped.

"Nothing," Meredith mummbled. "Absolutely nothing."

Bailey ignored her, continuing to run, but Meredith's mind was fixed on the fact that Lexie Grey was practically still a child, still in college.

She felt her stomach churn and the bile rise in her throat but she held it down.

As they ran out onto the roof the chopper was flying in. Izzie quickly threw on a pare of black glasses, and Meredith's stomach dropped at the sight of them. She had forgotten they even existed since Izzie started wearing contacts.

The chopper landed and Meredith, shakily forced herself into doctor mode. Bailey ran over to the stetcher that was being loaded out of the chopper.

"Katie Bryce. 15 year old female. New onset seizures. Intermittent for the past week. IV lost in route and started grand mall seizing as we descended."

"My head hurts," Meredith whispered to herself.

"Meredith, stop talking to yourself and get moving!"

_Don't tell me what to do Dr. Bailey!_

Yes ma'am.

The rolled her down into the building and got her into a hospital room.

"Alright get her on her side. Izzie-

Before she could finish what she was saying, Meredith already had 10mg diazepam i.m. coming through a tube to a needle that lead to her arm. The shaking slowed and then stopped and Katie Bryce lay on her side.

"How did you..." Bailey started but then her face turned from one of surprise to one of anger. "Grey, did I tell you to do that?"

Oh yeah, this was why she hated being an intern.

The door opened and Burke entered, smiling at them. "Oh I hear we got a wet fish on dry land," he said.

It was so weird to think about the first thing that she had ever heard him say. And there stood Cristina, looking at him like he meant nothing. She had never even touched him before, MEredith suddenly realized.

"Absolutely Dr. Burke," Bailey responded.

"Dr. Bailey. That's shotgun."

"That means every test in the book. CT, CBC, CHEM-7, TOX Screen. Cristina you're on labs. George patient work ups. Meredith, get Katie for a CT. She's your responsibility now."

"Bailey headed for the door and Izzie ran up to her saying, "Wait! What about me?"

"You? Honey you get to do rectal exams," Bailey answered and Meredith could barely hold the laugh that was rising in her chest at the horrified look on Izzie's face.

The others left the room and Meredith went on to continue what she had been told to do, watching the day play out like she remembered it. The first she took Katie Bryce to get the CT she had gotten hopelessly lost. Katie complained the entire time. But now, Katie sat there, watchin gsilently as Meredith wheeled straight doewn the hallway without a second thought, knowing where everything was.

"You know, I'm missing my pageant," the blonde girl complained.

"You know, I don't care," Meredith snapped, watching Katie's eyes widen in surprise.

"Is that anyway to treat a patient?"

"Is that anyway to treat a doctor who is tryin gto save your life?" Meredith retorted.

Katie sunk back into the stretcher, biting her lip angrilly.

"Don't hurt yourself," Meredith said, ignoring the way that Katie's mouth fell open, ready to give another complaint.

As soon as she could get away form her patient she quickly made her way to lunch, needing to convince her friends once again to be friends with her. It still shocked her everytime she looked at George's face, and the others surprised her as well when she saw how young they were. Meredith sat down without a word and watched as everyone stared back at her silently. They were just watching her because of who her mother was. She was ten times more into staring at them.

"I know," Meredith whispered quietly. "I'm Ellis Grey's daughter, but I'm nothing like her."

And just then, Burke walked over to their table and said, "Good afternoon interns. It's posted but I thought I share the good news personally. As you know the honor of performing first surgery is reserved for the intern that shows the most promise. As I'm running the O.R. today I get to make that choice."

Meredith sat back and waited, knowing that he would pick George. George had barely known what he was doing back then, but he had impressed Burke enough to let him perform a surgery.

"Meredith Grey," Burke anounced, slapping Mereidht on the back and making her jump.

"What?" Meredith gasped. "But you chose George!"

The other just watched in annoyance and confusion while George was beyond confused. "Um no..." Burke trailed off. "I chose you... do you not want it?"

Well this could stop George from being called Double o seven. "Yes!" Meredith forced out. "I want it!"

"Okay, you will perform an appendectomy this afternoon. Congratulations."

And with that he walked away, leaving Meredith to claw at the table. "Why um... why did you..." George started but Meredith stood up before he could get his thoughts together.

"I have to go check on my patient!" she announced and then darted out of the room.

She walked through the hallways, holding her breath. Bailey passed by her. Meredith tried to avoid her but Bailey stopped and Meredith rolled her eyes, doing the same. "I heard you were chosen to perform the surgery."

Meredith nodded slowly. "I was."

Bailey narrowed her eyes. "Don't screw it up."

She stalked off and Mereidth started muttering to herself again. "And just when I was beggining to like her, she reminds me of why I didn't in the first place."

Meredith finished the walk to the waiting room where Katie's parents were waiting. "You can see her now," Meredith sighed.

Her mother nodded with tears in her eyes. They followed her to their daughter's room where her mother nearly broke down into sobs. "Katie honey. Mom and Dad are here."

"They gave her a sedative for the CT scans so she's a little groggy," Meredith explained.

"Will she be alright?" Mr. Bryce asked.

"I'll go get her doctor," Meredith sighed and left the room, making her way to the lobby where she knew Derek would be standing.

When he looked up at her, she quickly walked away, knowing he would follow her. Seconds later, a hand grabbed her arm and dragged her into the stairwell.

"Dr. Shepherd," she whispered, pretending to be oblivious.

"Dr. Shepherd? This morning it was Derek."

"This morning I was drunk," Meredith pointed out.

Derek chuckled. "You're funny when you're drunk."

"And you are looking at me like you've seen me naked," Meredith shot back. "And let's just pretend that it never happened." She was trying ot pull up the memoried to remember exactly what she said. It was something along those lines.

W"hat never happened? You sleeping with me last night? Or you flipping out this morning?" he teased, and Meredith couldn't help but smile at the old, overly confident Derek. "Because both are fond memories I'd like to hold onto."

"Remember what?" Meredith teased back, enjoying this more than she should.

"You took advantage of me and you are going ot pretend it never happened?"

"Who took advantage of you?"

"I was drunk, vulnerable and good looking and you took advantage."

"Okay, I was the drunk one if you would remember. And you aren't that good looking."

_Oh yes he is! I miss that hair! When I get back I'll convince him to grow it longer again... if I get back._

"Maybe not today. Last night? Last night I was very good looking. I had my red shirt on. My good looking shirt. You took advantage." He smirked. "Want to take advantage again, say-

"Tommorow night?" Meredith interupted, needing him to hold her so she would feel safe again.

"I was going to say Friday," Derek said, smiling from ear to ear. "Tommorow night you'll either be working or sleeping of exaustion after your first day as intern."

_Oh... right. Seriously though, this is nothing compared to what I usually have to go through._

"Friday then," Meredith sighed, sadly.

"Ooh, someone's dissapointed," Derek teased.

_Yes I am._

"No I'm not."

"Oh I think you are."

"And I think that if you ever want to sleep with me again, we need to have dinner first."

Derek thought this over for a moment and then nodded. "Okay fine," he gave in, and leaned towards her.

She could feel his breath on her face and she whimpered under he breath, knowing that she probably shouldn't kiss him right now.

"Not now," Meredith stopped him. "Now, I have to go check on the patient."

**A/N: Okay, next chapter is when Meredith will get more involved with the other interns. I was going to make this chapter longer, but I didn't have enough time and wanted to get this one up. I'll get the other one up soon. You reviewers are awesome. Could review again please?**


	5. Remember Me

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Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!

She scrubbed in like she had many times before and then threw her mask on. She performed appendectomies all the time. It took only a few minutes to complete this easy surgery. She walked in and stared up at the interns who were making bets for sure on how she would either mess up or pull the surgery off. But the bets couldn't have been as bad as the ones baout George She looked alot tougher. Meredith entered the OR and stood in front of the patient on the table. "Scalpel," she sighed.

A scalpel was placed in her hand and she heard the interns clapping above. She rolled her eyes practically as far up as they would go and then made the incision. Burke didn't say a word as he watched. "Pickups... clamp..." she moved quickly with experience. "I'm there," she said as she immidiately found the appendix after opening the peritoneum. "Scalpel," she groaned once again and quickly cut out the appendix. "Appendix out."

Loud cheering was heard from the gallery. She let out a loud huff.

"Impressive Dr. Grey. Now all you have to do is invert the stump into the cecum. And simultaneously pull up on the per strings but be careful not to break..."

He trailed off, not from the fact that she actually did like George had, but because she was nearly done the procedure without messing anything up. She finished up in silence except for asking for different surgical tools every now and then. Soon she was stitching the skin and the backed away, with her bloody hands held away from her. "Done," she announced.

The interns began to cheer loudly while Burke stared with his mouth wide open. "You... um... that was... amazing," he stammered out. "How did you...

"I have to check on my patient," Meredith said, pretending to sound sweet.

She hated Burke, absolutely hated him for leaving Cristina at the alter and broke her heart.

"Um, go ahead and scrub out," he responded slowly.

"Thank you."

Meredith stomped out of the OR, ripped her gloves out, scrubbed out and then went to the hallway where the interns used to hang out. She sat there staring at the wall, waiting for the other interns to show up like she knew they would. "Meredith!" a voice called.

She looked up and smiled when she saw that it was Izzie. "That was amazing!" Izzie called. "How did you do so well?"

Meredith shrugged, playing dumb. "It was an easy procedure, no big deal. It could have been some risky brain tumor trial or something."

"You talk like you're a resident or something."

_That's because I am!_

"Hey," George's voice was heard as he walked into the hallway.

"George!" Meredith sad happily and his eyes widened. She quickly cleared her throat and went on in a normal tone. "Hi."

"You kicked ass in there," George praised.

"Thanks," Meredith sighed.

_Should have been you._

Cristina walked in then and sat down beside Meredith. "Good job," she muttered.

"Thanks."

"I won the bet," Izzie said.

Cristina shot her a look and pointedly switched her eyes to Meredith.

"Let me guess, you bet that I would pull it off? Well thank you Izzie."

"Good thing you did or Alex was making jokes that he would call you some name... what was it again... from Sherlock Holmes or something...

"Double o seven," George said and smiled at Meredith.

Hearing the words come out of his mouth made her swallow to hard and she started coughing.

_"You wanna try and write again... can you hold a pen... o...o... seven?... Double o seven... Oh God! Oh God!_

Meredith gasped in air. "Geeze are you okay?" Cristina demanded.

Meredith nodded and tried to control the coughing. Izzie pulled out the water bottle that she was holding and handed it to Meredith and Meredith took a huge gulp of water from it. The coughing stopped and she was left breathing in and out slowly.

"You alright?" George questioned, standing from the wheelchair that he was playing around with.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Meredith croaked. "Just stay away from buses"

"What?" George asked, confused.

"Nothing, nothing."

Just then her pager went off. "It's Katie Bryce!"

With that she hopped off of the bed she was sitting on and sprinted down the hallway.

_Took you long enough,_ a voice rang out in her mind and she suddenly remembered exactly what was happening. Katie had had her paged because she was bored.

Meredith came to a stop on the stairs she was running up and pressed her back up against the wall, taking deep breaths. The stop was so abrupt that it had knocked her pager out of her pocket and it was now tumbling down the stairs. "Da-a-amn it!" she cried, stomping her foot against the stairs.

"Everything okay?" a voice echoed through the stairwell.

Meredith spun around and looked around, finally finding the owner of the voice at the bottom of the stairs.

_Derek!_

"I guess you have a thing for stairwells," Meredith teased, a hint of crankiness still left in her voice.

"No, I don't have a thing for stairwells. But I do have a thing for ferries." Derek's trademark smirk spread across his face.

"I know," Meredith whispered.

"You know?"

"Yeah. You may have mentioned it before."

"Probably. That's why I love Seattle, because of the-

"Ferry boats," Meredith finsihed for him.

Derek began to descend up the stiars, holding something in his hand. "I believe this is yours," he said, holding out the pager.

Meredith clsoed her eyes, willing the tears not to come. This was before Addison showed up, the good old times. When she still had George; when Izzie and Alex were still trying to figure out who they were as a couple; when Derek followed her around, wanting her more than she wanted him. Before everything.

She opened her eyes and found Derek standing right in front of her. "You sure you're okay?"

Meredith smiled sadly. "No," she whispered. "But I'll be fine."

Derek looked down at her pager. "You were paged for an emergency," he said. "Katie Bryce."

Meredith played dumb. "Well let's go then!"

She started up the stairs and Derek was right behind her. They ran through the halls and found themselves in Katie Bryce's room in less than a minute. "Took you long enough," Katie snapped, and then noticed Derek standing there.

"This was a fake?" he demanded, stomping into the room. "Do you not understand that there are people here who _actually_ need our help. There could be somebody dying and we could miss it because you got bored!"

Katie sunk down into her bed and her eyes flashed to Meredith who was behind Derek. She bit back a smile and raised her eyebrows knowingly. Katie glared angrily.

"Do _not_ try that again!" Derek snapped.

Meredith winked at Katie and then slipped silently out of the room, waiting for Derek who came out seconds later. "I can't believe that," he muttered.

"I know," Meredith played along. "That little ungreatful..." she trailed off, staring at Derek's hair out of the corner of her eye. "You have great hair," she said huskily.

Derek chuckled in surprise. "Um... thanks. I've been told."

Meredith stopped him and gave him a seductive look, one she knew that always got him. She poked his chest with her finger. "Don't ever cut it," she whispered, quietly enough that he could barely hear it, but he did.

_That ought to do it._

She turned, biting her lip, and walked away.

As she walked thorugh the hallway, she overheard Alex snapping at a nurse.

"But are you sure that's the right diagnosis?" she asked, worriedly.

"Well I don't know I'm only an intern. Here's an idea why don't you go spend 4 years in med school and then let me know if it's the right diagnosis. She's short of breath. She's got fever. She's post-op. Start the antibiotics."

Meredith remembered how this one played out. Alex turned to her and started muttering under his breath. "I hate nurses. You remember me from this morning right? I'm Alex. I'm with Jeremy. You're with the Nazi right?"

"Right," Meredith mummbled. "But you know, that patient may not have pneumonia. She could be splinting or have a PE."

"Like I said, I hate nurses," Alex muttered.

Meredith swallowed her anger. "Lucky for you," she said. "I'm not one... um Andy was it?"

She smiled, watching the agrivation grow on Alex's face. "It's Alex," he practically spit.

"Oh that's right."

That's when Meredith's pager started beeping, and she remembered that this time, it was for real.

She sprinted back towards Katie's room. "Dr. Grey!" One of the nurses said in relief. "What doo you want us to do?"

"Page Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Bailey and load her up on phenolbarbitol."

The nurse did what he was told. "It's not working!"

"Well then give her-" she was cut off by the heartmonitor flatlining.

"Code blue!" a nurse yelled.

"Crash cart!" Meredith demanded.

The nurses rolled one straight over. "Charge to 100!"

She shocked her but saw no change.

"Charge to 300!"

No change.

"Charge to 350!"

"Dr. Grey-

"Now!" Meredith commanded and shocked Katie's chest.

Her body bounced up and then the heart montior went back to normal.

"What the hell happened?" Derek demanded as he burst into the room.

"She had a seizure and her heart stopped," Meredith explained.

"You were supposed to be monitoring her."

"I check in when you did and ran back the second I got her page."

Derek let out a deep breath. "Okay."

That's when Bailey ran into the room. "You get a 911, you page me immediately! Not in the 5 minutes it takes you to the emergency. Immediately! You're on my team and if somebody dies it's my ass, you hear me! Grey!"

"I had them page you for me while I was tryin got _save her life_," Meredith said.

Her head was swirling into oblivion. How oculd this be happening? How could this all be happening _all over again_? Mereidth backed up a bit and her hand landed flat against Derek's chest. It was flat, no scars protruded from it. It was untouched.

No gun wounds.

Her sotmach churned even more than before, and this time neasea seemed to acompany it as the adrenalin began to wear off from nearly losing the patient and the room spun faster.

Everything seemed to hit her at once and she ran out of the room and for the nearest door. Someone was caling her name from far away. She threw the door open, stumbling over her own two feet as she bolted for the nearest tree. And without a second thought, she leaned over and vomited all over the ground. She stayed that way for a moment, leaning over while she caught her breath. And that's when she remembered. As if history repeated itself, when she turned around, she saw Cristina standing there in the doorway in shock.

"Don't tell anyone," Meredith begged through clenched teeth. Tears were making their way down her face. "Please," she added, seeing the look on Crisitna's face. "Please," she repeated.

She took a step forwards and tripped over her own feet, landing on the ground.

"I um... I won't," Cristina said, turning to go back inside.

"Wait!" Meredith cried.

Cristina spun back around, her foot still holding the door open. "What?"

Mereidth pushed herself up so her legs wer still resting on the ground, but she was leaning on one of her hands. "Do you remember me?" she barely got out.

Crisitna raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Meredith swallowed hard, trying to get the sickening taste. "Do you know who I am?"

Crisitna cocked her head to the side.

"Please say you do," Meredith cried.

Cristina stepped forwards, allowing the door to close behind her. "Everybody knows you," Cristina exclaimed. "You're Ellis Grey's daughter!"

"No!" Mereidth sobbed, pushinng herself to her knees. "Cristina, look into my eyes! Please say you know me! I am _begging_ you!"

Cristina looked at her like she was crazy. But somthing seemed to spark in her eyes. Meredith quickly got up to her feet and stumbled from the nasea as she stared back.

"I think we met at the mixer," Cristina said.

Meredith's stomach dropped and she turned, throwing up again on the same tree.

"Are you sick?" Cristina asked.

Meredith shook her head.

"Pregnant?"

"I wish," Meredith whispered so quietly that Cristina didn't hear.

"Meredith?" Cristina said. "Mer?"

Mereidht jumped up immidiately. "You called me Mer!"

"I don't why I did," Cristina shrugged.

_I do._

"I'm gonna go inside Meredith. I'll uh see you later."

Meredith nodded and waited until Cristina walked inside to walk away from the vomit and collapse onto the ground again. hiding her face against her knees. Only a week ago, she was sitting out here with Derek. She had run outside after being stressed out and he had followed her out.

_"I came out here that first day when I was an intern ya know."_

_"Oh really?" He was stroking her hair softly._

_"It was right after Katie Bryce flatlined. You yelled at me for not monitoring her. I felt sick and overwhelmed."_

_"So you came here and did what exactly?"_

_"Threw up," Meredith gigled, sheepishly._

_Derek started to laugh. "Really? _

_"Don't make fun of me! You're scary whe you yell. And I sort of freaked out. I barely knew what I was doing."_

_Derek pulled her closer. "But you're an amazing doctor now."_

Meredith slowly stood up. "So I'm not dreaming," she muttered, swallowind the bad taste in her mouth. "I'm not drunk." She looked around and then looked up at the stars in the sky. "So my wish came true. Holy crap!"

**A/N: So what did you think? That was a rather long chapter in my oppinion, but now I know exactly what I'm doing with this. sorry i didnt update earlier. something going on with this website and i was trying ot get my other fic up**


	6. Mom

****

****

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

She awoke to her pager beeping loudly in her ear. She jumped in shock and looked around in confusion. She was freezing. For a moment she was wondering why Derek's arms weren't around her to keep her warm. Then she took a good look around. She was laying on the ground on her stomach with her face pressed against the cold sidewalk. She slept out here all night. When she attempted to sit up her back ached in protest.

Her pager continued to beep, making her move a little faster. She rubbed her eyes, collected her pager and then stood up fully. As she looked around she saw the rotting vomit on the tree from the night before. She looked away in disgust and quickly limped to the door. She took one more deep breath and then made her way inside where the warm air swarmed around her, feeling so good that it was almost painful. She walked over to the boardroom that she had been paged to go to.

When she arrived there, she found Cristina stitching a banana. She tended to do this a lot with fruit when she need practice, but Meredith needed an excuse to talk to her so she sat down next to her and said, "What are you doing?" in a hoarse tone.

Cristina's eyes shot up to her, not hearing her entrance. She gave her a strange but sympathetic looking, clearly remembering the previous night.

"I'm uh, suturing a banana with the vain hope that it wakes up my brain," Cristina answered, scratching her head uncomfortably.

George chuckled and Cristina shot him a glare.

Just then. Derek entered the room and Meredith looked smiled from ear to ear. It was a bit too obvious to be subtle. Derek smirked and winked at her without the others noticing.

"Well good morning."

_Look at that hair._

"I'm gonna do something that's pretty rare for a surgeon. I'm gonna ask interns for help."

_Der honey, It's rare when you ask anybody for help._

"I've got this kid Katie Bryce. Right now she's a mystery."

_Maybe to you she is, not to me._

"She doesn't respond to our meds, labs are clean, scans are pure but she's having seizures. Grand mall seizures with no visible cause. She's a ticking clock. She's gonna die if I don't make a diagnosis. Which is where you come in. I can't do it alone. I need your extra minds, extra eyes. I need you to play detective. I need you to find out why Katie is having seizures. I know you're tired; your busy, you got more work than you can possibly handle. I understand. So I'm going to give you an incentive, whoever finds the answer rides with me."

_Mmm, which is exactly why I have to win this._

"If Katie needs surgery, you get to do what no other interns get to do, scrub in to assist on advance procedure."

_Advance my ass! _

_"_Dr. Bailey is going to hand you Katie's chart. The clock is ticking fast people. If we're going to save Katie's life we have to do it soon."

Meredith shivered from being cold, but that wasn't the only reason why. She was staring at his mouth at he spoke, the way his lips moved. It drove her crazy. She had to touch him.

Interns swarmed around the charts while Meredith lazily stepped up towards Derek. He watched her for a moment, raising an eyebrow. Meredith opened her mouth, ready to give him the answer but was interupted by Bailey who called Derek over. "Hold that thought," Derek told her and then followed Bailey out the door.

That's when she noticed Cristina and remembered how Cristina had asked her to work together on this project all those years ago. Meredith had said that she didn't want to scrub in on the surgery, but th9s time she really did. But on the other hand, it was a way to get Cristina to talk to her.

Meredith made her way over to Cristina and said, "Hey, you wanna work together? If we figure it out we will have a 50/50 shot of getting in on the surgery. Plus I'm her doctor so I know all of her information."

Cristina shrugged. "Okay, sure."

"So, to the library?"

"Yeah." The two started to walk out of the room and Meredith sighed in relief. "You look terrible," Cristina said.

Meredith giggled a little, happy to have Cristina back. "I know."

"But seriously, you're hair! What'd you sleep on last night?"

_The ground._

"How bad is it?" Meredith asked, biting her lip.

"You know Don King?"

"Yeah..."

"You could be his hair stylist."

* * *

"So what's up with you and Shepherd?" Cristina asked, flipping through the files.

"Nothing," Meredith said. "We're just... nothing."

She loved gossiping with Cristina, but she had to make the announcement a bit more awaited first.

"The way you were staring at him didn't look like nothing." She flipped through the file some more. "So she doesn't have anoxia, chronic renal failure or acidosis. It's not a tumor because her CT's clean. Are you seriously not gonna tell me what's up with you and Shepherd?"

Meredith tried to hide her smirk. "You can't comment, make a face or react in anyway." Cristina stared at the file, but didn't read it. "We had sex."

She could see the shock on Cristina's face- the way her eyes widened and the way bit her lip to keep from saying anything. "What about an aneurysm?" Cristina choked out.

Meredith giggled quietly. "Well there's no blood on the CT. No headaches."

This gossip wasn't as fun as Meredith had expected. She had already told her this piece of information years ago. She felt her eyes start to sting again, but she blinked it away.

"Although... she did do rhythmic gymnastics... she sprained her ankle... come with me!"

Meredith grabbed Cristina's hand and pulled her along behind her.

* * *

"Dr. Shepherd!" Cristina called, when they saw him entering the elevator. "Dr. Shepherd!"

Derek turned around in surprise as the two woman ran towards him. "Oh, oh Dr. Shepherd. Just one moment um…Katie competes in beauty pageants. She has no proof of an aneurism..."

"Right."

"But what if she had one anyway? She twisted her ankle a few weeks ago when she was practicing for the pageant. She fell!"

"That's a one in a million chance-

"Well let's see if Katie's one in a million?" Meredith insisted.

Derek thought this over for a moment and then gave in. "Alright fine."

* * *

"Well, I'll be damned, there it is!" Derek said, shocked.

"Told you!" Cristina exclaimed and then quickly fell silent. "Sorry."

"It's fine. You two did great. Exactly. Now I get to fix it. You 2 did great work. Love to stay and kiss your asses but I got tell Katie's parents she's having surgery."

"And who will be scrubbing in?" Cristina asked.

Derek looked between the two of them and Cristina's face fell when he said, "Mere- Dr. Grey."

Meredith looked over to Cristina who's face scrunched up with fury. "Figures," she muttered and stomped towards the door.

"Cristina!" Meredith called, but she was gone before Meredith could finish.

Tears began to fill in her eyes, and her chest ached. She turned away from Derek so he wouldn't see the tears spilling down her face. "Dr. Grey," Derek said, tapping her shoulder.

Meredith cleared her throat, refusing to let him see her face. "I um... I'll see you in the OR."

"Meredith," Derek said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

The touch sent an electric current through her. She wanted to touch him, but she couldn't, not in front of the others working in here. So instead, she fled from the room, racing down the familiar halls of the hospital. As she ran, it was like the past was swarming around her. Old doctors and nurses that she never thought she would see again were in her view. She ran down a hallway that sat near an OR, one that had been re-done a few years ago. Why? Because it was blown up by a bomb that she had her very hand on.

Meredith stopped short when she saw this and sunk down to the floor against the wall. She could practically hear the explosions ticking in her ears from memories. Her whole body went rigid as her eyes darted around the walls, waiting for them to burst into flames. Waiting... waiting...

"Meredith."

Meredith jumped at that voice, one that would always make her jump now. "George," she whispered, taken by surprise. "I was just-

"Crying?" George asked, sinking down to sit beside her. "Rough day?"

"You could say that," Meredith responded, wanting so badly just to reach out and hug him.

"Want to talk about it?"

Meredith shrugged, purposely bumping her shoulder against George's. "It's just hard."

"Tell me about it," George muttered. "I promised a woman that her husband would come out of surgery alive."

"He didn't huh?"

"Nope."

George reached his hand out towards Meredith and she took it without even thinking, intertwining his fingers with hers. George was staring at her with those googly eyes again, the same ones that led him to sleeping with her once and nearly screwing everything up. But this was before that ever happened and she could prevent it now.

"Do you ever wish that we could just fast forward to when we're like residents or whatever and have all that knowledge in an interns mind."

_I did make that wish. Look what happened._

"You have to be careful with what you wish for," Meredith answered instead.

George swung their hands between them a few times before Meredith's pager stopped them. "I have to go scrub in on a surgery."

"Oh yeah! I heard you won that. Congrats. You're so lucky."

Meredith shrugged. "Yeah. I guess. I'll see you later okay?"

George nodded. "Okay."

Meredith walked off towards an OR getting out of the hallway with bad memories as quickly as she could. Soon enough, she was scrubbing in once again, getting ready to perform the first surgery she had ever done with Derek. She smiled at this thought.

"Hey, you okay?" Derek asked, walking into the room to scrub in. "You sort of just... bailed out before.

"Yeah," Meredith sighed. "I um... I needed a moment. I'm good now."

Derek shook his hands off a bit, walking with them held up in the air so they would stay clean. "Good."

He walked into the OR with that cocky smile of his shining on his face. "All right everybody. It's a beautiful night to save lives. Let's have some fun."

As confusing as everything was, she had this one moment, this one opportunity to just forget about it all as she lost herself in the surgery. Every stitch and every clamp caught her attention. Derek's fingers were quick, stopping the bleeding whenever it started. Meredith would never grow tired of her amazement of watching him perform a surgery. And before she knew it, Derek was smiling in satisfaction. "Got it," he said. "Let's close her up."

"That was like a high," Meredith muttered, mostly to herself. "I don't know why anybody does drugs."

Derek chuckled, clearly having heard her. As Meredith looked up, she saw Cristina staring down into the OR, smiling halfheartedly at her.

Meredith smiled back.

But inside, she was screaming.

* * *

After she scrubbed out, Derek met up with her outside where she stood, staring into space.

"Nice work in there," Derek said.

"Thanks, you too."

"You'll make a wonderful doctor Dr. Grey."

_I already went through this once!_

"Thank you."

Meredith looked at her watch, realizing that her shift was over. She turned to leave but Derek stopped her.

"And Meredith?"

Meredith turned back around, raising an eyebrow. She was planning on heading home, but then she remembered that Derek wouldn't be there, and neither would Alex, Lexie, April, Jackson or Derek or Izzie or George. She would be alone in that empty old house.

"Yes?" she forced out.

"Are we still on for Friday?"

Meredith took a deep breath. "We'll see," she teased, and then winked, letting Derek know that she was kidding.

_What did I do the first _real_ day I was an intern here? I wouldn't have just gone home alone would I have? No... that's not right. Where was I after that first day?_

"Mereidth! Wait!" a voice called from behind her as she reached the front door.

Meredith turned just in time to feel soft lips crush against her own. She didn't even have to open her eyes to know who it was. She just kissed him back, threading her fingers through his hair. It didn't last very long- he pulled away to quickly for it to- but she actually felt a smile grace her face where his lips just were.

"I'll take that as a yes for Friday?" he asked and all Meredith could do was nod. "I'll see you tomorrow Meredith."

"Okay," Meredith squeaked.

He hadn't kissed her like that in a long time. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he just hadn't been as excited as he was just now. It was usually sweet and slow. But this was hurried and rushed in the best way possible.

Derek winked at Meredith the way that she had just done to him and then left.

As Meredith made her way outside, she tried to think of where she could go, not quite ready to go home to her empty house yet. And then it hit her.

_I didn't go straight home that first day._

With her throat feeling tight, she walked quicker to her car, anxious to get to where she wanted to go.

She drove without really even thinking. She made every turn she needed to and before she knew it she was pulling up in front of a familiar building. She shut off her car and walked out into the night, feeling water hit her skin as it started to rain. She ran this time into the building, throwing the door open behind her. "Good evening Ms. Grey," a woman said.

"It's Dr. Grey," Meredith responded, feeling it become harder to talk clearly. "And where's my mother?" she croaked.

The woman gave her a look of petty and pointed to her right. Meredith turned in that direction, losing it when she saw the woman sitting in the chair. She was constantly drumming her fingers against her knee. Meredith bit her lip as she made her way over to her. She looked just like Meredith remembered.

"Mom," Meredith whispered.

The older woman looked up at Meredith and stared right through her. "Are you a doctor?" Ellis asked. "Because I used to be one... I think."

"Yes, I'm a doctor," Meredith whispered hoarsely. "And you used to be one too."

"A-are you sure?"

Meredith nodded. "Yes Mom."

"I think I know you from somewhere... I can't seem to put my finger on it..."

"It's m-me Mom," Meredith said, feeling tears finally leave her eyes. "I-it's Mer-e-dith," she sobbed.

Ellis looked into Meredith's eyes and Meredith slowly sat down in the chair across from her. She looked a bit helpless as she repeated, "Meredith... I might know that name-

Meredith pulled her into her arms before she could help it and burried her face into her mother's shoulder. Ellis tensed up but tentively patted Meredith's shoulder. "Mom!" Meredith cried. "Mommy!"

********

**A/N: Sorry it took me a few days to get this chapter up. I purposely made it extra long. But OMG did you see the preview for next weeks musical episode? I saw a sneak peek that took place right after last episode end (those of you who saw it know what I'm talking about. Those of you who didn't, I won't spoil it.) But I got the chills from this from this sneak peek. Here is the link, just take away the spaces and I would love ot hear what people think of the upcoming episode. http:/ www. / 2011/ 03/ greys- anatomy- musical- episode- sneak- peeks -a-surreal- experience/ **

**Arizona's acting in this sneak peek was incredible!**


	7. Future Past and Present

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

_Beep..._

_"There's nothing more that we can do. Call it Dr. Grey."_

_"B-but... it was supposed to work. This surgery is s-so simple. I just."_

_"Dr. Grey, call it."_

_"But Dr. Hunt, what if we-_

_"She's got no pulse! There is nothing more that we can do! Look at me Meredith! We lost her. Now please call it."_

_"I... I can't."_

_"Time of death 12:36. I'm sorry Dr. Grey."_

_Beep beep beep beep_

Meredith opened her eyes and stared straight up at the ceiling, watching her bedroom walls stare back at her. As if the empty house and the boxes weren't enough, when she walked into her room and saw the wall behind her bed that had no diagram of a tumor and no post it in a picture frame, she practically melted. She had to dig through the boxes in her closet until she was finally able to find something decent to sleep in and then she climbed into bed and pulled the covers high over her face and hid from the world. Each time the house creaked, she jumped. Once, in her sleep she had reached out to pull Derek's arms around her in protection but came back empty and remembered her unfortunate mishap that she was currently stuck in.

Now, she hugged the blankets tightly around her as her eyes constantly darted around the room. Her alarm had gone off but her next shift didn't start until that night and she had nothing to do. She had set her alarm just so she could get up early and get out of the house as soon as she could. She showered quickly and then dressed in an old pair of jeans that she gave away two years ago and a green top that Lexie had shrunken in the wash last year.

She ran out of the house and straight to her car where she sped off towards a library. She wasn't watching where she was going at all. That's why she went straight through a stop sign, nearly crashing into another car. "Crap!" she cried, swerving off her side of the road and into the next lane.

Another car was coming right at her. She swerved back into the other lane and the car spun until it came to a halt at the side of the road. People were honking and one man flipped her off while yelling a word that Cristina called the word of last resort.

Meredith flopped forward, purposely hitting her head repeatedly against the wheel and hitting the horn.

_If I die, will I wake up back in my residency body again?_

"Hey!" someone called and a knocking sound came from Meredith's window.

Her head snapped up and she gasped out loud, only to find a face that made her stomach flip-flop. She literally screamed a high-pitched scream and landed back in her seat.

"Geese! I didn't mean to scare you!"

Meredith hand landed on the button below the window that rolled it down. "Are you okay?" the woman asked, giving her big young concerned eyes.

Meredith had an image of those eyes in her head, one that Alex described to her once. He said they stared out into nowhere, unmoving and very much unalive. They were half open and blood shot which clashed against her pale, lifeless flesh.

"R-R-Reed," Meredith stammered.

"How did you know my name?" the red-head asked in pure confusion.

"I um... I... do you have a minute?"

"For what?" Reed asked, gaining back that stubborn attitude that Meredith knew her to have.

Meredith opened her mouth to explain. _Here's someone who I haven't met yet! Maybe she'll believe me!_ But then her mouth slammed shut.

"Never mind," Meredith mumbled.

_Stupid idea!_

Meredith began to roll the window up but Reed threw her hand out in protest. "You wanna grab a coffee?"

Her eyes widened in pure shock. "Really? But why?"

"Because number one- I can tell when someone needs a friend. And number two- you seem oddly familiar. Starbucks isn't far from here."

"I'll meet you there," Meredith quickly agreed.

"Alright. See you in a few. Careful driving."

"Will do."

Reed pushed her short hair behind her ear and then turned to leave. Meredith quickly set the car into drive and pulled back out onto the road, driving to the Starbucks where she and Cristina would sometimes by coffee. It was barely five minutes away, and Meredith arrived there before she knew it. But she had to take a moment before she actually got out of the car to catch her breath and think over what she was about to do.

_She'll never believe me!_

Meredith carefully stepped out of her car and headed into Starbucks where Reed was sitting at a table, sipping a cappuccino. Meredith walked straight to the table. "Aren't you gonna get a coffee?"

"I can't stomach anything at the moment," Meredith admitted.

Reed shrugged. "Your loss um... um..."

"Meredith," Meredith quickly introduced herself. "We _really_ don't have to do this if you don't want."

"Do what? I barely know why I'm even here. So why don't you just tell me?"

"Do you believe in the supernatural or whatever?" Meredith asked slowly.

Reed cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. "The supernatural?"

"Or stuff along that nature?"

Reed shrugged. "Why?"

"Because I somehow... I time traveled."

Reed reached for her purse slowly. "I don't have time for this."

She began to stand. "You're name is Reed Adamson!" Meredith announced quickly. "You are... 26 years old! You are a doctor and you work and Mercy West. You just started your internship. Please believe me!"

Reed slowly sunk back into her chair. "Alright..." she choked out."Are we good friends in the future?"

Meredith shook her head sorrowfully. How the hell do you tell a person that they're going to be shot?

"We worked together."

"Worked? As in past tense? And then you screamed when you saw me! So am I... holy... shit you are from the future aren't you?"

Meredith nodded her head as tears sprang to her eyes. "I really want to get back," she whimpered. "I'm gonna need some help."

"And why should I help you?"

"Reed _please_! You're the only one who knows and I alReedy tried to get Derek and Cristina to listen! But they wouldn't! And George is alive again and Izzie never left or had Cancer and the shooter never came and-

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! It sounds like your life is one big mess!" Reed exclaimed, her eyes big and wide.

Meredith smiled sadly and tried to hold herself together. "What do I do?" she whispered.

Reed shrugged, completely at a loss for words. "Meredith... I've never heard of anything like this."

"I was going to go to the library," Meredith mumbled, fighting back even more tears. "But I can't... I don't know... and the world feels like it is spinning."

"Have you had something to eat or drink?" Reed asked.

Meredith opened her mouth but trailed off. "Not since like two days ago."

"Oh my gosh!" Reed snapped, practically throwing her coffee across the table.

"No, it's okay-

"Drink it!"

Meredith's mouth snapped shut and she stared down at the coffee. She took a slow sip of it, realizing that it was pumpkin flavored. She took another sip and before she knew it, the coffee cup was empty.

"I'll get us two more," Reed said. "And then we are going to see a psychic."

Meredith didn't argue.

* * *

"This is ridiculous!" Meredith fought, uneasily fidgeting in the cushiony chair that she sat in.

"This whole thing is ridiculous," Reed agreed. "Seeing a psychic is nothing compared to that."

"But what the hell does a psychic know?" Meredith demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

Reed shrugged, staring at Meredith with those big innocent eyes and Meredith shuttered, picturing those eyes... so dead...

"It's not what we know, it's what we are told," a woman's voice said and she emerged from a doorway. She looked surprisingly normal, unlike Meredith thought she would. She pictured her as if she were from a movie- with one of those giant hats a long gown. The rest of the place wasn't too exciting either. In fact, it was just a house with off-white walls an old stained carpet. Her husband had let them in, so this was the first time Meredith saw what she actually looked like. She was dressed perfectly normal.

"Hi Reed," the woman said, nodding towards her. "Another palm reading?"

"Not for me. It's for her," Reed explained, motioning towards Meredith who bit her lip nervously. "Jennet, this is Meredith."

"It's nice to meet you Meredith. Why don't you follow me?"

Meredith just watched her walk back through the doorway, unsure. "Go!" Reed encouraged.

Meredith stood slowly and then followed the woman -Jennet- back into what looked to be a dining room. Once again, it was just a normal room. Jennet was lighting a candle with a match and then blew the match out before placing the candle in the middle of the table. She dimmed the lights and then took a seat at the table.

"No crystal ball?" Meredith asked.

Jennet rolled her eyes. "Sit down!" she insisted.

Meredith looked up to see Reed creeping into the room quietly so she could observe. With a loud huff, Meredith plopped down into the chair and stared at the Psychic who held her hands out, the back of them flat against the table. Meredith stared at them, cocking an eyebrow.

"Your hand," Jennet explained.

Meredith opened her mouth in a silent 'o' and then placed her hands in Jennet's who closed hers around Meredith's and closed her eyes. She muttered something under her breath and then said, "Close your eyes Meredith."

Meredith blinked once and the shut her eyes. "Okay," Meredith muttered.

"Now channel all of the energy into your hands."

"How the hell do I do that?" Meredith demanded.

"Stop asking questions," Jennet snapped. "Focus the energy."

Meredith rolled her eyes under her lids and did as she was told, shutting her mouth tightly and clenching her teeth.

Jennet continued her chanting, but each time around ti got louder. The rhythms of the chant were almost hypnotizing and Meredith could slowly feel her body growing tired. She focused hard to keep herself aware, focusing her attention on her hands that were clasped in the psychic's. "Good," she could hear her saying. "I see... I see... I see a woman trapped inside a body that she doesn't belong. You feel trapped, don't you?"

Meredith felt sweat beading on her forehead. A chill ran down her spine. How could that woman honestly know that.

"Y-yes," Meredith whispered out, but her voice did not sound like her own.

"There is de ja veus' circling around." _This is getting creepy. _"As for your future... I... I see... nothing." _Nothing? _"It's blank, but it's all laid out. I can't understand it. It seems... it seems that it undetermined. It is up to... you have full control."_ Because I know what happens next. _"You don't belong here," Jennet gasped. _You think?_ "You are in great danger! You have not accepted the fact of what you own, of what you have. There is no appreciation where it should be, for what it should be."

"What the hell does that mean?" Meredith questioned, twitching one of her fingers.

Suddenly, Jennet's hands disappeared from Meredith and both of their eyes snapped open. "I told you not to ask questions."

"Please, I'll pay you extra! Just tell me please!"

"Keep your money, you needed this more than I could offer. And I can't tell you what it means, only you can. Now I must get back to what I was doing. Have a nice life Ms. Grey."

Jennet turned and left the room. "I never told you my last name," Meredith whispered.

**A/N: Strange chapter, I know. But now Meredith has someone on her side, thanks to Reed. Guys, what happened? Two chapters ago I got 13 reviews and the next it went down to 6! What did I do wrong? How can I fix it? And for all you MerDer lovers, you will get a TON of Meredith/Derek next chapter. Please please please review for a super quick update. I have fun writing this story but it's not as fun when I think I don't have readers.**


	8. Crying gets old

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

Meredith walked though the front door to the hospital, biting her lip tightly between her teeth and not even realizing it.

Doctors and nurses rushed around, trying to save patients. But Meredith's mind was wrapped up in a blur.

" _I see a woman trapped inside a body that she doesn't belong. You feel trapped, don't you? "_

Her breathing grew faster.

_"There is de ja veus' circling around."_

Reed had left and gone to work, leaving Meredith with her phone number. Meredith desperately missed the company.

_"As for your future... I... I see... nothing." _

What has that woman meant?

_"It's blank, but it's all laid out. I can't understand it._

How could any of that information possibly help her to get back?

_It seems... it seems that it undetermined._

"I have to find Derek," Meredith whispered.

_It is up to... you have full control."_

She felt her feet moving before she cold control them.

_"You don't belong here."_

She pushed through nurses and patients, pressing through the hallways, running as fast as she possibly could. "Have to find Derek. Have to find Derek."

_"You are in great danger! You have not accepted the fact of what you own, of what you have."_

She rounded a corner, darting straight down the hall. Her feet nearly slid out from under her.

_"There is no appreciation where it should be, for what it should be." _

She ran straight into something hard, feeling it nearly collapse beneath her. It caught her in it's arms and she froze, holding onto the embrace.

_"I can't tell you what it means, only you can. "_

Tears streamed down her tired cheeks and she fell limp inside the arms as the rested around her.

"Dr. Grey?" a voice asked, as the arms awkwardly began to slide away. "Meredith?"

Her eyes searched up, frantically trying to find the one man who she wanted to hold her so badly at that moment. But instead, she found someone else.

"Oh Alex," she cried, as his arms disappeared from around her.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, scratching his head. "I mean my guess would be no, but... yeah."

Meredith squeezed her eyes shut and felt the tears slip out.

He didn't know her. He didn't know anything about her. How could this be happening? This was freaking Alex, one of her best friends, her family and he was looking at her like he was pitying her. This wasn't her Alex. She could see it in his eyes. He was someone else, someone different, someone she barely knew.

"What can I do?" Alex asked, not sounding very sincere.

"Nothing," Meredith mumbled, wiping her hands across her face in quick motions. "Absolutely nothing. I'm fine. Thanks."

She watched him sadly through the teary fog that covered her eyes and then turned to walk away, slumping her shoulders in defeat. Her chest shook with each sob. A hand grasped her wrist. "Meredith wait."

She pressed her lips together tightly, just wanting this all to be over. "What?" she forced out.

She turned her face and saw the look in Alex's eyes. She swore she saw a glimpse -a spark in his eye- that allowed her to know that he was still her Alex, hidden in their somewhere behind all that cockiness and smart-ass.

"I'm uh, I'm sorry I called you a nurse," he said, seeming unsure.

_What is he talking about... oh yeah. Yesterday. I forgot all about that and frankly I don't even care._

"Thanks," Meredith whispered.

"Are you feeling better?"

She laughed humorlessly at his sad attempt. He didn't like seeing her cry but he had absolutely no idea of what he was doing. He wasn't making her feel any better.

"No," she muttered.

"Do you mind if I ask why you're crying? Alex offered, giving the best comforting look that he could manage.

Meredith let out a huge sigh, her eyes traveling down to the floor. "You wouldn't understand," she explained.

"Try me."

Meredith thought the words over in her head, thinking of how she could phrase it in a way that he would understand.

"It's just... I'm not meant to be here."

Alex cocked his head to the side. "Don't get yourself down. You just started out as an intern. It'll get better, I promise."

Meredith just shrugged. "I hope so," she choked out.

"Um... Izzie said that you're a hugger. Do you need a hug?"

Meredith rolled her eyes and stepped back in to hug him quickly. Tears left her eyes as soon as he couldn't see her face. He was trying, but he had no idea what she was really going through.

As soon as she felt Alex move, she wiped her hands across her face so he wouldn't the tears and forced a smile. "Thanks," she whispered.

"All better?" Alex asked.

Meredith bit back the sobs. "Yeah," she choked out. "I'll uh see you around, okay?"

Alex nodded and before he could get out another word, she turned and started down the hallway, feeling her chest heave with thicker sobs than before.

The second she saw the medical supply closet, she knew what her next move would be and she quickly slipped inside of it and sunk down to the floor, collecting her knees to her chest.

It seemed like forever that she sat there, shaking as she cried. Her head spun with each frantic breath that she screed into her aching lungs.

She was so wrapped in the crying that she nearly jumped straight up when the door flew right open and someone stood there, frozen in shock. Their eyes squinted at Meredith and the second that they adjusted to the light and the person knew who she was they said her name.

"Meredith... is that you?"

"Derek," she croaked. "I -_gasp-_ I can't -_gasp-_ breathe." Her hand rested on her throat which she couldn't seem to suck enough air into.

Derek ignored her and slowly made his way over to her, sitting down on the floor next to her. "Shh. Easy now. Deep breaths Meredith."

She just kept at what she was doing, unable to understand his command.

What was this? Was she having a panic attack?

Derek reached behind her head and grabbed a paper bag, and the de ja veus kicked in stronger.

He scrunched up the front of it in his fast and pressed the end of it around her mouth. "Breathe," he told her, straight forward, looking at her with big sad puppy-eyes.

Meredith breathe from the bag the best she could and she could feel that not much air was getting through to her. She gasped in a hard breath, feeling it fill her lungs and ease the burning feeling in them just a bit. Her whole body felt numb, and she dropped her head onto Derek's shoulder, continuing to take deep breaths until they go easier each time and began to slow. She replaced his hand on the paper bag with her own and then pulled it out of the way when she felt that she could breathe without it.

At least Derek was the mostly the same, still sweet and caring. He loved her. He had from their eyes first met. For her, that was over five years ago. But for him, it was just a few days, and he had loved her through all of them. He barely knew her, yet he loved her unconditionally.

"I'm sorry," Meredith whispered.

_I'm sorry for putting you through this. You barely know me at all. You're knew at this because I'm sure that Addison never did this...wait!... Shit! Addison! Oh no! What am I going to do when she arrives? Will I be stuck here that long?_

_"You don't have to apologize," Derek said. "Being an intern can be hard."_

_She clenched her teeth tightly and then relaxed her jaw. _"That isn't why I'm crying."

"Then why-

She searched her head for the quickest excuse that she could come up with and then quickly cut him off.

"My mother... I visited her last night." Her heart clenched at the memory. "She has Alsheimers. She didn't even know who I was."

Oh, I'm so sorry Meredith."

"It's fine. We were never close... it's just so hard and" _freaky to see her alive again just like it was to see George! _"Weird."

Derek wrapped his arm around her and she cuddled close to him.

"I-" _love you._

She kept forgetting that he wasn't her husband yet. There was no post-it that said so.

"I really like you," Meredith whispered, smiling at the way she felt his chest rumble as he chuckled softly.

"I really like you too Meredith." Meredith turned her face up to Derek's and saw the way his eyes sparkled. "I'm going to kiss you now," he announced.

_Yes!_

"Okay," Meredith squeaked, lamely.

He leaned in slowly and pressed his lips against her's. She noted how soft they were. His hands were placed on both sides of her face and he leaned in until they were both leaning over. Her back pressed against the floor and he hovered over top of her. He held his weight up on his hands but his mouth pressed down hard against her's. Their lips moved together, and for that moment, everything was okay. It seemed to slip away from her mind. The whole world just melted except for him and her, right there in each other's arms.

That was until the door opened up and light flooded in, landing on top of the both of them. Derek gasped and pulled away, sitting up while Meredith lay on the floor on her back. A woman with blond hair stared at with wide eyes, her mouth hanging straight open."I'm sorry I..." she trailed off, trying ot make sence of what she was seeing. "Dr. Shepeherd?"

"Izzie," Meredith whispered, shaking her head to clear some of the fog.

"I... I just need to..." she slipped in quickly, grabbed a pack of bandages and then dissapeared through the doors.

For a moment, the two of them just sat there, staring at the open door in an awkward silence. Then Derek cleared his throat. "Well that didn't go as planned."

Meredith nodded her head. She oculdn't believe that she had to explain this all to Izzie _again_.

"We should go check on Katie Bryce," Derek said and Meredith nearly whimpered when she realized that there would be no more kissing for the moment.

Derek reached his hand out to Meredith and she took, standing up until she was eye-level with him.

* * *

"The surgery went just fine," Derek explained while Meredith leaned against the wall, clutching Katie's chart to her chest. "Katie is making a very nice recovery.

Her parents both cheered happily while Katie eyed Meredith who was trying to hold herself up.

The room seemed like it was spinning.

"Why does Dr. Grey look like she's going to pass out?" Katie questioned.

"I am not!" Meredith claimed, stepping forwards and feeling the floor practically tip out from under her.

Strong arms wrapped aorund her torso and held her up. "We'll be right back."

Derek dragged her out of the room. "What's wrong?" he demanded in the hallway.

"I don't know," Meredith responded, stumbling a bit. "I'm fine."

"You are not fine. When is the last time you had something to eat?"

"I drank some coffee this morning."

"When is the last time you had something ot _eat_?"

Meredith shrugged. "I don't know."

"Go eat Dr. Grey."

_Call me Meredith!_

"Derek-

"That's an order. I understand you are stressed but that is no reason to act so stupid."

Meredith clenched her teeth and fists. "Fine," she muttered.

She headed towards the cafeteria, holding onto the wall for support. When she got there she saw the food that sarounded her and felt her mouth water.

She made her way to the food line as fast as she could and instead of buying her usual choice of a salad, she ordered a burger and fries and a soda and then quickly found her table where she started devouring her food immidiately, swallowing after barely chewing.

"Meredith!" a voice hissed, causing her to drop the burger on her plate and nearly choke on the un-chewed bite in her mouth.

"Izzie," she gasped through her mouth-full. "Listen-

"You will never believe what I saw!"

Meredith covered her mouth with her hand, buying her a moment to work on the food in her mouth. "What?" she mummbled.

The knowing smile crept onto Izzie's face. "I walked in on Dr. Shepherd hooking up with some girl on the ground of the suply closet!"

Meredith swallowed a coughed a few times. "Who was it?" she squeaked.

_Holy crap, she doesn't know!_

"I don't know, it was too dark to tell, but I knpow it was him because he was sitting up and the slut was laying down.

"I'm not a slut!" Meredith spat.

Izzie jumped back a bit. "I-I never said you were. I-I just... I-

"Sorry," Meredith said quickly. "I just... misunderstood."

Beore Izzie could respond, a chair squeaked from next to them and George sat down, dropping his tray at the table.

"I Just tripped and knocked an IV out of someone's arms. Dr. Bailey had a fit."

"But that never happened!" Meredith incisted and then threw her hand over her mouth.

George cocked his head ot the side.

"Never mind!"

_Shit, am I altering the past?_

"Ugh," George groaned as his phone vibrated. "It's my mother."

"Aw, Georgie's mother's checking in on him," Izzie teased and Meredith giggled.

"I can't help it! I can't afford my own place! In the morning I am going home to my _mother's _house!"

Meredith jumped at the opportunity. "I need roommates!" she gasped. "My house is huge! Are you guys interested?"

"Yes!" George nearly shouted.

"Actually, I did need a knew place," Izzie said slowly.

Meredith smiled and reached for her hamburger. "You can move in whenever," Meredith explained. "But the sooner the _better_."

_I'm going to need someone to pester me about bringing Derek over._

**A/N: So... thanks so much to my wonderful reviewers, please continue to review! If I get 15 reviews by tommorow, I'll update tommorow.**


	9. Addison

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

_Somebody was watching her. It wasn't in a normal way though, she could feel those big bug-eyes peering through her very soul. She didn't like that feeling._

_If somebody saw who she really was on the inside they would see the dark and twistiness that made her up. And not only that, it was just plane creepy._

_The eyes were getting closer. She could feel breathing near her face and that's when it hit her. This was real._

She jerked awake, meeting the eyes of an agitated blond. "George's room is bigger," she whined.

Meredith thought this over for a minute. She was still in the half-asleep state so she was a bit confused when she saw the very young Izzie standing right in front of her with a pout-face. "Deal with it," Meredith mummbled.

"But Meredith-

"My house my rules."

She decided that she wouldn't be getting back to sleep any time soon so she pushed herself up and out of bed.

"Who are you, my mother?"

Meredith turned and saw Izzie pout like a child. She was too innocent for Meredith's liking. She hadn't left them all yet. She was still that innocent Izzie that Meredith had come to know and love. Not that she had ever stopped loving her. "Izzie, come on. Can't you act just a bit more grown up. It's like two freaking inches of room space."

"It's closet space, generous amazing closet space. And I have clothes; lots and lots of clothes. George; he wears like the same thing like every day. You know what I mean?"

Meredith turned to glare and crossed her arms. "Iz, I'm gonna go shower."

"Okay, fine! BUt where do you keep the tampons?"

"I ran out."

"George is going to the pharmacy to pick up some asprin for his headaches or whatever. I'll tell him to pick some up."

"Cool," Meredith yawned and settled into the comfiness of being back with George and Izzie.

_Maybe this isn't so bad. I can live through all of this again and make it better this time. I'll become the best doctor in my year and I can stop George from ever joining the army which did get him hit by the car. And I can stop myself from ever sleeping with him! I can talk Izzie out of leaving or just get her checked by a doctor when she shows the first signs of cancer and we can catch it earlier. Maybe this is all going to turn out good._

"This is my room!" George growled as Izzie walked into the hallway.

He was guarding it protectively, earning a laugh from Meredith. Clearly Izzie had been pestering him about it.

"It should be mine!" Izzie spat.

"I got here first!"

"Too bad!"

"Hey!" Meredith shouted, breaking then away from their argument. "It's George's room. That's final. George pick up tampons from the pharmacy for Izzie."

"What?" George shouted in protest but Meredith glared at him until he backed down. "Okay," George gave in and Meredith smiled victoriously.

"Hey can we clean this place up a bit and make it a bit more homey feeling?" Izzie asked and her chipper tone made Meredith extra tired.

"We could unpack some of these boxes and maybe add some pictures."

"Pictures would be nice!" George added.

"Go for it," Meredith sighed. "I need a shower."

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her, sliding to the floor as her mind swarmed her head.

It was Friday. A few days had passed since she wound up here and it was getting really weird, but her date was tonight.

She had ignored Burke; literally ignored every word he said and rolled her eyes at him. Cristina had still yet to really act friendly againt owards her. And all week she unconciously searched the hospital for Lexie, Mark, Owen, Arizona, Callie, APril, Jackson, Teddy and everyone else who was missing from the picture.

As the water ran down her skin, Meredith closed her eyes and kept repeating the same words over and over again in her head.

_This is a good thing. This is a good thing. This is a good thing._

* * *

"Good morning Dr. Grey," he said from behind her, his breath tickling her ear.

Meredith bit her lip, trying to stop the chills that ran down her spine. "Good morning Dr. Shepherd," she said as professionally as she could manage.

People were staring and she could feel it.

_Ding._ The elevator doors opened and three nurses, exited the elevator, leaving three doctors to stare. "Just wait," Derek mumbled, so quietly that she almost thought she hadn't heard it.

The door shut and the elevator shifted again. Meredith took a step forwards and cleared her throat to make it look a little less obvious. The elevator haulted and the other three left.

It felt like forever before the door finaly closed and Meredith spun around, pressing herself against Derek and sandwiching him with the wall. He grunted in surprise but her lips colided with his, silencing him. He smiled against her lips and began to move his with hers hungrilly. He didn't like being the one pressed against the wall because he quickly flipped them and continued to kiss her, moving his lips down her jaw to her neck.

The elevator doors popped open before they could register it. Derek flipped around as fast as he could but was met with Cristina's awkward gaze. "I'm uh... I'll take the stares."

She turned and began to walk off. "Hold it!" Meredith commanded, running out of the elevator and chasing Cristina down the hall.

Meredith caught her wrist before she could escape.

"You don't have to explain anything!" Cristina insisted. "Why do you even care what I think? You don't even know me!"

Meredith flung her around to look her straight in the eye. They were so close that Cristina looked a bit weirder out but froze when Meredith spoke. "I know you," Meredith said and then her voice shifted to a whisper. "Don't think that I don't."

In that moment it was like something flashed between them and Cristina's eyes widened in fraction of a second. Recognition glowed in them. "Mer?" she gasped.

Meredith felt her heart skip a beat. "Your Remember me?"

"I..." she trailed off as her pupils unfocused. "I don't know what you are talking about. I don't... I barely know you! Just because you are Ellis Grey's daughter doesn't mean that you have the right to go around and act like you are better than everyone else because _you're not_!"

Cristina wripped her hand away from Meredith's. Tears filled Meredith's eyes but she blinked them away.

"I never said I was!" Meredith screamed.

"Dr. Grey is something wrong?" Berke asked from behind her.

Meredith spun on her heal and got dangerously close to him. "You!" meredith spat thorugh grit teeth. "You stay away from Cristina! Do you understand me?"

"Dr. Grey, who the hell do you think you are talking to?" Burke demanded and Meredith had to grit her teeth to keep from saying everything she wanted to the man who left her best friend at the aulter.

"I'm sorry sir," Meredith forced out before turning and stomping away.

* * *

As she walked out of a patient's room she nearly collided with Alex who seemed to be waiting for her. "Oh hey," he said, acting like he had just entered the hallway. "I didn't notice you there."

"Yes you did," Meredith sighed, tired of his games.

Alex frowned. "What do you mean by that?" he inquired.

Meredith let out a deep breath. "Go talk to Izzie."

"Why do you always say that?" Alex deamnded.

"Because you like her! It's freaking obvious! You are in lovew ith her and you never stopped loving her!"

"What? Love her? I can't stand her! She gets on my nerves thinking that she can go from being some super hot model to a surgean! Like she could actually pull that off? I don't but it!"

Meredith couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"In fact," Alex went on, noticing Izzie walking towards the locker room. "I just put her in her place."

"What do you mean by that?" Meredith started, feeling her head spin.

George was suddenly blocking Izzie from going into the locker room and telling her not to. She pushed past him and Meredith saw her freeze in the doorway and heard whisteling.

"What did you do?" Meredith demanded, afraid to know the answer.

Alex was already walking past Izzie and admiring his artwork which would be hanging up posters of Izzie as a model all over the locker room. Izzie was fighting tears. "You think this is funny?" she whispered. "Good job Alex. Really nice. In fact, I should teach you a lesson about the anatomy."

And with that she ripped her shirt open to reveal her white bra. "Ooh! Boobs!" she cried, with make amusement. "How anyone be a doctor carrying these around? Oh and-" she pulled her pants off, eaving her standing in her under garments. "glutes! Yes! Fasinating! You want to see more because there can be a lot more. You just keep laughing up your sick jokes Alex, but remember, while you're in debt for medical school, I'm already paid off!"

And with that Izzie grabbed her clothes from the ground. Alex had fallen silent. "Izzie, come on I'll help you-" George started but Izzie pushed past him and said, 'No!'

Meredith wasn't far behind as she ran after Izzie towards the bathroom. Some girl came out of it and Izzie yelled at her to move before slamming the door behind her. Meredith ran through the locker room, passing Alex who grabbed her arm. "Are you happy now!" she screeched and pushed him off of her. "I thought you were better than this!"

Izzie came out of the bathroom, buttoning her shirt up as she went. Her eyes were red and puffy and Meredith could tell that she was trying to look brave. "Izzie!" meredith caleld as Izzie past her. "Izzie!"

Izzie ignored her and kept walking but Meredith chased after her. When she caught up to Izzie, she put her arm around her and led her out of the locker room. "Want me to take you home?" Meredith offered.

"I have a patient," Izzie responded hoarsely. "Need ot check him. Thanks though."

"You kicked ass back there," Meredith sighed, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

"No, I just showed them mine," Izzie snapped and kept going.

Meredith smacked herself in the head and leaned back against the wall. It was almost four o'clock which meant that her shift was over in two hours and she could go to dinner.

* * *

"You were fascinating to watch in that surgery back there," Meredith said seductively as Derek was scrubbing out.

"So based on your wardrobe, I'd take it that you're ready to go?" Derek asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Ready when you are," Meredith responded.

Derek turned off the sink and began drying his hands. He turned to Meredith and smiled sheepishly. "Five minutes."

Meredith giggled and nodded. "Absolutely."

"Meet you by the front door."

"Okay."

Derek walked out of the O.R, dropping something on the way. "Wait you forgot your-" Meredith started but trailed off when she saw the number flashing on the screen of the phone. It began to vibrate and Meredith noticed the name that flashed back onto the screen. _Addison._

Her heart skipped a beat. She had nearly forgotten about Addison. She knew it was a bad idea but she ducked down behind the sinks and answered the phone. "Hello," she said into it.

There was a long pause on the other end. "Who the hell am I speaking to?"

Meredith knew that voice. "Addison," she said slowly. "My name is Meredith."

"Are you the little skank who my husband's been screwing?" Addison snapped.

Meredith hesitated, trying really hard not to be pissed off by thta comment. "Yes," she answered, earning an agitated breath from Addison.

"Excuse me! You listen hear missy! He is my hussband! I make one mistake and-

"It was more than jsut a mistake Addison. He loved you and you broke his heart. It was his best friend."

"And who do you think you are; telling _me_ how to behave? He is my husband!"

"And he is happy now. I would _never_ do to him what you did."

"You barely even know him!"

Meredith paused for a moment, playing with a peice of her hair. "I know him better than you'd think. And he's in love with me. Please just... stay away."

"Meredith-

"If you care about him then you'll stay away. He doesn't love you anymore. Please Addison. Please."

She closed the phone before she could hear the answer and stood up, heading for the front of the hospital to meet up with Derek.

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't update. Fanfiction keeps running into problems. I can say though that something HUGE will happen in the next chapter. So bare with me. **

**Don't read on if you don't want a spoiler for the next chapter. But if you do...**

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**Any Denny fans out there? The orriginal Denny, not the ghost sex Denny. He _might_ make a little appearance... or a big one. Either way please review and I'll update really fast. **

**I'll update my other story called Second Chances and then I'll put the next chapter up for this story. I have a good idea for where this is going now. So please please please review.**

**Thanks**


	10. Knowing

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

"So Meredith, tell me about yourself," Derek said, sitting back in his chair and intertwining his fingers.

_Again?_

"Um... My name is Meredith Grey. I am a doctor. My h... I mean date is Derek Shepehered," she teased.

"No, for real. What do you do when you're not working?"

_Spend time with you._

"Not very much." _What did I do five years ago? _"Visit my mom who has alsheimers," she admitted, seeing no reason to keep that from him.

Derek shook his head sadly. "Oh Meredith. I'm so sorry."

Meredith shook her head. "We weren't that close anyway. It's fine. But what about you?"

Derek smirked slightly. "What about me?"

"What do you do for fun? I want to know more about you."

_Except that I already know everything about you!_

"Well-

There was a loud crash. "Ahhhh!" somebody screamed at the top of their lungs.

There were mutiple shouts after that. "Is there a doctor in here?" somebody cried.

"We need a doctor!" someone else yelled.

Meredith jumped up to her feet, sharing a look with Derek for a moment before the two were speeding off towards the man lying on the ground.

"I don't think he's breathing!" a waitress cried.

"I'm a doctor!" somebody else announced, running through the door. They must have been yelling for help outside.

"Reed?" Meredith gasped, seeing the doctor.

"Meredith," Reed said slowly.

"Meredith!" Derek growled, catching her attention.

She immediately knelt down next to the man on the ground and nearly fainted. "Denny!" she gasped, feeling her stomach twist uneasily.

"What?" Derek demanded.

"He um... he has a heart condition," Meredith explained quickly, needing to save him this time.

"But how do you-

"Don't ask questions. Just help him. Save him! He will not die _again_! Not on my watch!"

"Again?" Derek questioned as he looked at Denny's pupils.

"It's his heart! Just call 911!"

Although confused, they obeyed her and soon a siren was heard down the street as Meredith began to pump Denny's chest. Derek ran outside to explain the situation and Meredith could see the lights flashing right outside the door.

That was when Denny began to cough, gasping for air that just didn't seem to come.

"Denny," Meredith whispered. "Denny, take deep even breaths. It;s okay. It's okay."

Denny muttered something out. Meredith heard him but was sure that she heard wrong. There was no way he said what she though the did. "What was that? What did you say Denny?"

He repeated it, but Meredith was till sure that she had heard him wrong.

"I'm sorry. What?"

Denny took a breath that practically choked him. "Meredith," he croaked.

Meredith's mouth fell open in shock. "You know who I am," she squeaked.

"Where's Izzie?" he gasped out, losing conciousness quickly as the stretcher began rolling in. "How is she?"

"You know who Izzie is?"

Denny chuckled a laugh that was more of a cough than anything. The stretcher began to roll in. "Oh Meredith," he got out. "What did you do now?" The next thing he said was barely a whisper and his eyes were nothing more than slits. "And why do I always get stuck saving your ass?"

And then he lost conciousness. "No one is cutting any L-VAD wires," Meredith whispered as the stretcher came over to her.

Her hands moved away from his chest as he was loaded onto the stretcher. She fell forwards, still in pure shock, just like when she was in the limbo world, trying ot save Bonnie and landed in a pool of blood that vanished before her eyes.

Hands wrapped around her and pulled her to her feet. "Derek,"s he whispered.

"Come on," he said. "This was nice while it lasted but we need to go help now."

"Date's over," Meredith groaned in annoyance.

"Date's over," Derek repeated.

* * *

They took Denny to the hospital where he was taken straight to Burke. Meredith followed after them, only to find out that Cristina had already been asigned to the patient since she was already scrubbed in and they needed to do an emergency procedure.

Meredith was left with Derek who said he'd be back when his phone rang and then ran outside. Meredith quietly followed after him and eavesdropped.

"No!... You what?... I'm so tired of your crap. I-... Wait what?" Derek slammed the phone shut, a lifeless look in his eyes as he turned around, jumping when he saw Meredith.

_Does he rememebr?_ Meredith practically begged in her mind.

But Derek asked her a question instead. "You know about Addison."

Meredith sighed slowly. "I've _known_ about Addison."

**A/N: SO so so so so so sorry! I have been so freaking busy that it's crazy. Mix that with writers block and you get an extremely short chapter that is way over due. I promise the next chapter will be a billion times better. But what happened now that Denny knows? And how does he know? Bear with me. The next few weeks will be very busy. I'll due my best to update, but just wait for the summer and you'll get pleanty of updates. Please don't giev up on me.**

**Anyone who wants a preview, tell me in a review and I will send you one to an e-mail you give me or as a responce to your review.**


	11. A Way Out

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

"How long?" Derek asked slowly. "How long have you known?"

"That you had a wife? For a while."

Derek had a look of disbelief. "And you never said anything?" he demanded.

Meredith's mouth fell open in anger. "I should be angry at you! You're the one who lied to me!"

Derek looked away as if trying to figure out how to handle the situation. "So I guess you're going to break up with me now?"

Meredith shook her head. "No."

A look of surprise hit Derek's face. "But why?"

"Becase I love you!" Meredith cried.

What hurt the most was not that he lied or the fact that she was having this fight all over again with him. It was that he didn't say it back. Instead he said, "How did you find out?"

What could she possibly say to answer this question? "You won't believe me," Meredith whispered sadly.

"Try me," Derek shot back.

Meredith blinked once and then she lost control of the anger that was flowing through her veins. "I wasn't drunk that morning," Meredith said. "It takes more alcolhol than I had that night to cause me to carry on being drunk that long."

Derek had such a look of confusion on his face that it made Meredith's stomach turn. "What are you talking about?" he questioned.

"That morning, after I slept with you... that happened over five years ago." Derek backed up and shook his head in pure disbelief as if she was crazy. "Currently, we are married... well sort of. We signed our vowls on a post-it note. And we are trying to have a baby. And George is dead. And so is the man that we picked up off the floor in the restaurant tonight. Addison is long gone and lives in Los Angeles. And the first time I found out about her, I was not _this _cool about it. In fact, we broke up and you went back to your wife and we shared a dog and you called me a whore and then we cheated together in an on-call room. I found out about Addison because she came here and walked up to us. You chose her over me after I finally forgave you."

Derek rolled in his eyes and shook his head again. "I'm sorry Meredith about Addison. I trully am. But no woman is worth _this_ type of crazy."

Those words cut straight through her. "Derek," Meredith choked out, finally letting the tears fall.

Derek backed up some more and Meredith squeaked in shock of what she had just allowed to happen. "Der..."

"Have a nice life Meredith," he sighed and ran to his car to drive away.

"No please!" Meredith cried, chasing after the car as the lights flickered on in er face and the car began to pull out.

Meredith stepped in front of it and closed her eyes, hoping that it would kill her, hoping that it would send her back, only to have the crap scare dout of her by a loud horn honking in her ears.

Meredith shrieked and hoppe dout of the way.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Derek demanded.

"I know Mark!" Meredith cried. "There's proof! Mark is your best friend!"

"Stalker!" Derek growled through the window.

Meredith gasped and through her hand over her mouth. She stumbled backwards, slamming into a car and setting the alarm off.

Derek drove away without looking back.

"No!" Meredith shrieked. "Derek please!"

He couldn't hear her anymore, but she kept on screaming and choking on her sobs. "I'm sorry! I changed my mind! I want to go back! Please let me go back! Somebody! Whoever did this to me! Please!"

She let out an agrivated cry and stomped back towards the hospital, letting the breeze dry her tears. "This is a dream," she whispered. "This is all a dream. I wonder..."

She closed her eyes and slammed her heels together. "There's no place like home!" she cried. "There's no place like home! There's... n-no... There's no place like home!"

Meredith's eyes flew open, only to reveal that she was still in teh dark night. She hadn't really ahd much hope for that to work, but it was worth a shot.

"I appreciate what I had! Okay? I had Derek!"

"Meredith?" a confused voice said from behind her.

Meredith spun around. "Cristina!"

"Were you talking to yourself?"

"Shouldn't you be in surgery with Denny?" Meredith asked. "SHouldn't you be saving him?"

Cristina's eyes softened. "Meredith... I... he... he um... um..." She shook her head. "We did everything we could-

"No."

"He wants you to know that you have to figure out the way out of it."

"Oh no," Meredith whispered, shaking her head. "No! That's not how it was supposed to happen! He was supposed to live! He wasn't supposed to die yet, not until Izzie cut his LVAD wires! That's not how it happened!"

Cristina stepped towards Meredith. "Maybe you should lie down," Cristina suggested. "I think you may be halucinating or something."

"No!" Meredith growled. "You're not her! You're nto Cristina! Not _my_ Crisitna."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"My Cristina would have been more conserned! My Cristina was my best friend. My Cristina would have cared! And I knwo that you sence something! I saw the look in your eyes. You know me. _You know me_!"

"Meredith... I'll get Bailey. I think you are having a panic attack...

"No!" Meredith screamed and took off running down the street towards the restaurant where she left her car. Within twenty minutes, she was there and inside her car. The rest happened in a blurr. One minute, she was staring her car. The next, she was home in her driveway and taking the keys out of her car.

The house was silent when she walked inside, but she didn't bother to add to it. She stomped through the house, acting drunk off of her depression as she walked towards the kitchen. She knocked things out of the way and let glass fall to the floor and shatter.

_Maybe I can snap myself out of it. Maybe if I die..._

Meredith walke dinto the kitchen and retreieved a knife from the cabinet where she remembered she used to keep them.

"Please work," Meredith whispered, staring at the shiny metal and then pressed it to her wrist.

A drop of blood dripped down and hit the floor.

_This has to work._

* * *

**A/N: Don't kill me! I know you want to know what happens next so you must review. That was a fast update, huh? I wasn't planning on updating tonight, but once I started writing, I couldn't stop. OMG, now i'm excited. I got this story moving again.**

**Do you love drama?**

**And as for Denny... I gave just enough of him for it not to get annoying I think.**

**I am interested in what you guys think or want to happen next. Tell me in a review if you want.**

**Now please review. PLEASE!**


	12. Escape

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

She thought it would hurt more; more than it did atleast. She barely felt it though. Her body was so numb with adrenalin.

The knife dragging across her wrist cut deep enough. She knew that it had. She was a seargeant. She would bleed out in no time. Her now bloody and throbbing wrist took the knife and her hand shook so hard that she was barely able to cut the other wrist. But she managed.

She was losing blood so fast as it ran down her hands and soaked the floor.

She was getting dizzy from the blood loss. She was seeing double and the crimson color of the floor seemed to be spinning across the room.

It was strange. She was dying, but the smile that played at her lips couldn't be sustained.

Her body wasbecoming week, especially her knees. They gave out from under her and she hit the floor, landing in the puddle of blood. The room was getting fuzzy and continued to spin.

_"Meredith?"_ a far off voice called. _"Oh my gosh! George! George! George call 911!"_

She felt something wrapping around her wrists tightly. It hurt from having the pressure against the wound. She wanted to shout for the person to stop but she couldn't find her mouth.

_Just let me die! I'll be fine! I'm trying ot get back!_

_"Meredith! Stay with me!"_ the voice cried. _"Please! George!"_

_"Izzie? What the..."_

_"Call 911!"_

_"Okay. Okay."_

The voices were fading. It was getting harder to breathe.

_I'm almost gone._

"Meredith?" Izzie whispered.

Meredith could hear the recognition in her voice. But it was gone as soon as it came. It was the last thing she heard.

* * *

_Beep... beep... beep..._

_Oh shut up! _Meredith wanted to scream to the annoying beeping osund near her right ear.

_Beep..._

Meredith groaned in annoyance, but then a smile appeared on her lips. _Am I back?_ She thought. _Maybe this was all a dream and I've been in the hospital th entire time._

_Beep..._

"I think she's waking up," a voice said.

She knew that voice. Dissapointment shot through her veins. "George," she mummbled, barely a whisper. "Didn't work."

"What? Meredith, what did you say?"

Meredith's eyes fluttered open and she blinked against the bright light. "Ow," she cried.

"I know it hurt Meredith. I know. You're going to be okay though. I'll get Dr. Burke."

"No," Meredith hissed. "George stay."

"I'm getting Burke, Meredith," he said sullenly and left the room.

Meredith slowly sat up and felt her head spin, fallin gback against the pillows. She felt so weak. Her eyes traveled down to the bandages on her wrists and the needle on her arm, attatched to a bag filled with blood. It was a blood transfusion. Meredith's hand shook as she slowly reached for the needle on her arm and began to pull it out, watching as blood leaked from her arm. There was an IV in the other arm. Meredith yanked that out as well. She felt free of the weight. _Maybe I'll die now,_ Meredith thought.

She began to tear off the bandages on her wrist and stared at the stitches. Her weak fingers began to pick at them, trying to untie them. "Hey, hey, hey!" someone yelled, yaning her hand in theirs and beginning to hook her up the the blood bag and the IV again. Meredith felt useless as she stared up at Burke. "What a stupid thing to do. Why would you want to kill yourself?" Burke demanded.

"I didn't want to kill myself!" Meredith cried. "Damn it! I just needed to get free of this."

"Then you could have just quit being a sergeant!" Burke cried. "Why would you do this to yourself?"

"It wasn't about being a sergeant," Meredith sighed. "It's more than that," she mummbled helplessly as Burke checked her heart rate and then bandaged her back up.

"You can talk to me, you know," Burke said. "You're on suicide watch now. You mighr as well tell someone you trust why you did it."

"And who says I trust you?" Meredith screamed. "You left Crisitina! After everything that you two went through! How could you do that?"

Burke shook his head. "Meredith what are you..." he stopped as she grabbed his arms and looked straight into his eyes. "Talking about," he finished with a whisper.

"How could you do that?" Meredith demanded darkly. "She loved you. She trusted you. You left her at the aulter and took off without ever speaking to her again. You broke her heart."

"She was better off without me," Burke answered and then snapped out of it. "What the hell is going on?" he muttered.

"You remembered," Meredith gasped. "Burk! You..."

Her words were cut off as Burke stumbled backwards. "Go," Burke said to her. "You know what to do. Go figure it out Meredith. Tell Cristina I'm sorry." His eyes softened a bit. "I never stopped loving her."

And with that, he smiled and let his arms fly out to the sides as he vanished. "Burke!" Meredith cried. "Come back!"

Her body was too weak. She fell back against the bed into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Meredith," Izzie whispered. "Meredith."

Meredith's eyes snapped open and wandered over to Izzie. "Thank God," Izzie whispered. "Dr. Burke left a note sayin ghtat he quit, so Dr. Shepherd was put in charge as your doctor."

Meredith's lip quivered. "Where is he now?" she asked hoarsely.

"He said he'd be right back. He is talking to some psyke doctor or something," Izzie explained, patting Meredith's hand softly. "Meredith, why would you want to kill yourself?"

Meredith grit her teeth. "I didn't!" she cried. "Izzie! Look at me! I don't wan to die! I just want to get back! I don't belong here!"

"Then just quit Meredith, damn it."

"I love being a sergeant!" Meredith screamed. "Jesus Izzie!"

Izzie backed up in her chair in fear. "Meredith... I'm... I'm sorry...

Meredith began to pull the tubes out of her arms again. The blood bag was now almost empty, having fed her all the blood she needed.

"Don't!" Izzie warned her, grabbing her hand to stop her.

Meredith began yanking at the wires. Izzie reached for the needle next to the bed that she must have been given the sedative in case she would need it.

"No!" Meredith said. "I'm sorry. I'll stop. Just don't sedate me."

She lay back quietly on the bed and began to place the tubes back into her arm. Izzie hesitantly pressed her lips together and place the needle down next to the bed.

Meredith sat quietly for a moment and then her eyes flew over to the door. "It's Denny!" she gasped.

Izzie unconciously spun around and Meredith grabbed the sedative, stabbing it into Izzie's arm. Izzie squeaked in shock as Meredith injected the medication into her. "I'm sorry Izzie," Meredith whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Izzie fell down against the bed, blinking a few times in confusion. She mummbled something, trying to form words but losing the ability to. "Shh," Meredith whispered, blinking away the tears of guilt. She stroked Izzie's face softly. "Shh, it's okay."

Izzie's eyes fluttered shut and she was out cold. "I'm sorry," Meredith repeated.

She slowly removed the wries again and placed Izzie in the bed so she could move around her. She stil felt a bit weak, but the blood did it's trick.

"I'm going to fix this," Meredith promised, patting Izzie's hand.

She quickly switched clothes with Izzie, wearing Izzie's jeans and t-shirt and dressing Izzie in her hospital gown. She then grabbed the rest of the sedative that was left.

She was a bit skinnier than Izzie, but it would work for now.

There was only one person who could cheer her up at the moment.

She grabbed Izzie's jacket and pulled the hood up and over her head before slipping out of the room. "How is she doing Dr. Stevens?" Bailey's voice rang out fro behind Meredith.

"Fine," Meredith forced out in the most Izzie-like voice that she could manage.

"Stevens?" Bailey said slowly. "Turn around."

Meredith kept her head facing the ground and turned around. "Look up," Bailey said.

Meredith pulled the needle from her sleeve and jabbed it into Bailey's arm, watching as Bailey collapsed onto the floor. "Sorry," Meredith whispered and then quickly began walking away.

She moved as fast as he tired knees and sore wrists could take her. "Taxi!" she called as she left the parking lot and stood in front of the street.

A taxi haulted to a stop in front of her. She opened the back door hopped into the cab. "I need you to take me to Massachusets," Meredith said.

"Excuse me?" the man demanded.

"I'll pay you twice the amount," Meredith said, feeling around in Izzie's purse for her checkbook. "It's an emergency. Please. I need to see my sister."

**A/N: So... strange, I know but I have this story right where I want it. I really need some review for a really quick update. So please review.**


	13. Betray

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

The taxi drove through the night. Lights flashed by, blurring into one burning vision. Meredith watched them and let them relax her.

"Listen to this," the taxi driver said, snapping her out of her oblivion.

He turned the radio louder and Meredith heard the woman's voice blast through the car.

_"... crazy hospital patient escape after sedating two doctors. Her name is Meredith Grey. If you see her, she could be very dangerous..."_

Meredith rolled her eyes at this. She was harmless and out of sedatives.

_"Call 911 at once if you see her."_

"Can you turn that off please?" Meredith sighed. "It's depressing and I just want to sleep."

"Sure... um... um...

"Ellis," Meredith said quickly. "My name is Ellis."

"Of course Ellis," the man said and turned the radio off. "My name is Joe by the way."

"Hi Joe," Meredith said, laying across the seats and closing her eyes. "Wake me when we get there."

"Yes ma'am," Joe said.

Meredith closed her eyes and slipped into a dream world.

_"Mr. Derran, we will do everything we can to get that tumor out. I promise."_

_"You shouldn't promise," Owen scolded as they left the room._

_"I promised to do everything that we _could, _not that we would save him," Meredith hissed. "What's your problem anyway?"_

_"Cristina is angry at me."_

_"For what now?"_

_"Because I let you scrub in on this surgery instead of her. You are the one who is better with brains."_

_Meredith smiled. "Well thank you," she said._

_That's when she heard the screaming and they both turned and ran into the room where Mr. Derran was going into tachycardia. _

_"We need to get him into surgery immediately, Owen said._

_Mrs. Denna stopped Meredith as she headed out of the room. "Please bring my husband back to me," she begged through her tears. She choked on a sob. "Please."_

_"We will do everything we can," Meredith whispered and then ran after Owen._

_..._

_Meredith watched as Mrs. Derran collapsed into Owen's arms when she heard the news. She could feel tears brimming in her own eyes as this brought her back to the memory of when Derek was shot and she thought he was dead._

_She ran from the hospital and to her car. She slammed the door ebehind her and let the tears fall as her hand landed on her stomach._

_She needed to be pregnant. She just had to._

"Ellis, we're here," a voice said.

Meredith opened her eyes and sat up in the car, fixing the mess that was her hair. She pulled the checkbook out of Izzie's pocket and filled one out before handing it to the driver.

"Thank you," he said.

"Thank _you_," Meredith responded.

"Goodbye Ellis."

Meredith waved and then headed off towards Harvard Medical School. The campus had a few stray students just hanging out around it.

"Hey," a boy said as Meredith passed him. "You lookin' for someone?"

Meredith turned towards him and knelt down in front of where he was sitting. "Do you know where I can find Lexie Grey?" she asked.

The boy shook his head. "Nope, sorry."

"You looking for Lexie?" someone said from behind her.

Meredith turned around to find a short girl with blond hair.

"Yes," Meredith said.

"May I ask who you are?" the girl questioned.

Meredith nodded slowly. "I'm her sister," she explained.

"Molly?" the girl asked.

Meredith blinked back tears. "Yes," she lied.

"Well then follow me," the girl said and started walking towards a dorm room with music blasting loudly from inside.

The girl knocked on the door and a male's voice came from the other side. "Who is it?" they asked.

"Trisha," the girl aswered. "Open up you idiot!"

The door opened up and a man who looked like a player stood on the other side. "Hey Trish," he said, raising his eyebrows twice.

"Ass," Trisha muttered, walking into the room. "Where's Lexie?"

"Over there," the boy answered, pointing to a sofa where two people were making out like dogs.

"Lexie," Meredith whispered, eyes wide at the sight.

"Hey, Lex!" Trisha called. Lexie pulled back from the man. "Your sister's here!"

"Molly?" Lexie gasped and jumped up off of the sofa.

Lexie ran out the door with a huge smile on her face and then froze. "You're not Molly," Lexie said, her smile fading.

"Want me to get rid of her?" Trisha asked.

Meredith looked into Lexie's eyes, practically begging her with a look to know who she is. "No," Lexie said slowly. "Give us a minute."

Trisha nodded and walked into the party hesitantly. "Who are you?" Lexie asked.

He hair was cut to her shoulders like it was when they first met.

"My name is Meredith," Meredith answered. "I'm your sister... well half sister actually."

Lexie gave her a strange look. "Why did you come here?" Lexie asked.

"To see you," Meredith explained. "Don't you recognize me at all?"

Lexie just shook her head. "No, and I think it'd be best if you left. I'm sorry Meredith."

Lexie turned to leave. "You weren't a person I ever wanted to know!" Meredith called and Lexie spun around, recognition flickering in her eyes when Meredith said that. "Not until I met you," Meredith said. A tear ghosted down her cheek. "And now you're gone from my life just like everyone else is. I'm on my own."

Lexie's eyes squinted slightly and then they widened. "Meredith?" she whispered.

Meredith moved without thinking and pulled Lexie in her arms. Lexie hesitanted before huggin her back.

But as soon as it happened, she was gone and Meredith fell to the ground as Lexie vanished into thin air.

"Lexie?" Meredith cried. "Lexie!"

She stood quickly and ran from the building, trying to get as far away from there as she could.

The world spun around her in a flash. She stopped a taxi and begged them to take her to Seattle jus tlike she had done with the last one.

She kept her hood tightly over her head as she rode in the cab.

She didn't know where she could go without being diagnosed as crazy.

_What the hell happened to Lexie?_

All she couls think of was how her sister had litterally vanished into thin air.

What was going on?

"We're here," the taxi driver said.

Meredith sat up in the backseat, brushing her hair behind her ears. The police would be checking her house as well as the hospital for her. "I..." Meredith started, a tear falling donw her face. "I don't know where to go."

"Well you can't stay here," the lady huffed. "I want my money."

Meredith slowly pulled a check from her pocket, filled it out, and then gave it to the woman.

"You need to leave now," the woman told her and Meredith obeyed, stepping out of the cab and watching it drive away.

She could only think of one thing to do and she walked over to the phone book that was on the side of the street and dialed the operater. It took her a second to realize that they answered.

_"Hello?"_ the other voice said.

Meredith swallowed hard and said, "The number for Reed Adamson."

_"Just a moment please."_

Once they gave her the number, Meredith dialed it into the phone, using her last quarter to pay for it.

_"Hello?"_ a tired voice said on the other line.

"Reed!" Meredith gasped.

_"Meredith! Do you realize that the cops are looking for you? They are saying that you are crazy!"_

"Reed, I need you to meet me at Joe's bar. I'll be sitting in the back. Please show up. I really need to talk to someone. Please."

Reed didn't respond for a moment. "Hello?" Meredith said.

_"Okay," _Reed finally said. _"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."_

* * *

Meredith kept her hood on her head when she ordered a drink from the bar from Joe.

Joe looked younger, like he was the first time she met him.

"Joe," Meredith said.

"Yes?"

"Do you know who I am?" Meredith asked, thinking of how many times she had come to Joe with story after story of things that were happening in the hospital.

Joe stared at her for a long moment. "You were here the other night, right?"

Meredith let out a heavy sigh. "No," she answered, accepting the drink. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Meredith took the drink to the back table and sat down. She heard the door open in the front and stood slightly, expecting it to be Reed. But she was shocked to see Addison.

A moment later, Derek entered, walking over to the bar. Addison turned around and he nodded towards her. They must have been planning to meet each other here.

Each of them said something that Meredith couldn't make out and then Addison broke down cryin gand threw her arms around Derek. Derek stoo tehre for a mometn before closing his eyes and hugging her back.

"No!" Meredith cried.

A few people turned to look at Meredith. "Are you alright?" a voice said from beside her.

Meredith jumped a bit and turned to find Reed standing there. Tears were now running down Meredith's face.

Reed sat across from Meredith. "Listen Meredith, I'm so sorry," Reed said.

"For what?" Meredith choked out.

Reed bit her lip and looked away as cops sarounded the table.

**A/N: So here's the fast update. Review please!**

**Tell me, what do you want to see happen?**


	14. I Am The Liver

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

Meredith's head snapped towards Reed in shock. "How could you?" Meredith spat.

"I'm sorry!" Reed cried. "But you need serious help that I can't give you Meredith!"

Meredith clenched her teeth together as one of the cops pulled out his gun and said, "Meredith Grey, you are under arrest."

Meredith felt tears clinging to her eyes as Derek was now watching everything take place with wide eyes. "Reed," Meredith cried. "Look at the gun!"

Reed shook her head in confusion as the cop began to place his handcuffs on one of Meredith's wrists. The two other cops stood guard.

Reed glanced at one of the guns in the cop's hands. Her eyes shot straight open and she cowered in fear. "Get that away from me!" she shrieked and spun around to look at Meredith. "Meredith!" she cried. "I died!"

"What are you talking about?" the cop holding Meredith demanded.

Reed threw herself at him and he tripped back into the other two cops. Reed dissapeard in thin air and Meredith bolted for the door. She ran outside as fast as she could, one of her wrists still locked in the handcuffs, when she felt arms lock around her.

"Let me go!" Meredith cried.

"This is for your own good," a familiar voice replied.

Tears spilled down Meredith's cheeks. "Please Derek! Just let me go!"

She began to thrash around and kick at his ankles. She woulod have usually loved to have his arms around her, but she had to get out of there. She pretended to give up and slumped in his arms.

"I'm sorry," Meredith whispered and then kicked her foot back at his crotch.

Derek growled out in pain and released his arms from her, falling to the ground.

"I'm sorry Derek!" Meredith repeated. "I'm so sorry!"

And then she ran like her life depended on it (which it kind of did). She ran for nearly 30 minutes before she reached her destination. She ditched her sweatshirt that people now knew she was wearing and then walked into the building. Her mother was sitting in the waiting area like she always was.

"Hi mom," Meredith whispered, sitting across from her.

"Do I know you?" Ellis asked.

Meredith shook her head slowly. "Right now you don't. I'm just a pperson who needs advice. I thought maybe you could give me some."

Ellis sat a bit straighter in her chair, tapping her fingers constantly against her knees. "Is it medical advice? I'm a doctor... I think."

Meredith swallowed hard. "Yes," she said. "And you are a doctor."

"Okay," Ellis said. "Tell me."

Meredith thought it over for a moment. "Well there's this... liver."

"Mhm," Ellis said.

"It's in the wrong... part of the body, though it knows where it's meant to be. But all the other organs don't understand that it's in the wrong part of the body. They aren't helping it get back. So the body isn't functioning properly. And everytime it convinces an organ of who it is, the organ dissapears."

"Well that's odd," Ellis said. "How do you know what the liver's feeling?"

"Because I'm the liver," Mereidth admitted. "Just please tell me what the liver has to do to get back."

"Well," Ellis said slowly. "It sounds like all of the other organs are what's keeping it from getting back. They are standing in it's way. So when the organ figures out the truth, it gets out of the way and goes back to where it's meant to be. You see, the other organs aren't really in the right places either since the liver isn't."

Meredith swallowed thickly. "So the other organs aren't really gone?"

"No," Ellis explained. "They just got back to where they were supposed to be. The liver has to convince all the other organs of the same thing in order to get them to understand and let it get back."

"And the do you think the liver can get back?"

"Only if the liver understands why it's really where it is. It wants to get back but it doesn't exactly know why. It doesn't realize that it needs to help the body function properly and that it can't be caring only about itself."

Meredith felt a tears fall down her cheek. "In other words, I'm being selfish and I don't understand that there is a reason I was here to begin with."

"Exactly," Ellis said.

"Should I make you remember?" Meredith whispered.

Ellis touched her daughters cheek and said softly, "I think I already do Meredith."

And then she vanished. Meredith felt her lip quiver and she shivered, feeling very alone. "Mom," she whimpered.

"Excuse me ma'am, but you're Meredith Grey, right?" one of the nurses said from behind her.

Meredith felt her heart beat speed up. "My name is..." she started, but jumped up and ran before she could finish.

"Somebody catch her!" the nurse screamed, only to realize that she was sarounded by a bunch of old people who were sick in some way.

Meredith bolted out of the door and around the building, running into the middle of the street. A car screeched to a hault in front of her, honking on it's horn.

The car hit her legs and she rolled up onto the windshield. "Holly shit!" a voiced cried, throwing the door wide open. "Are you okay?"

Meredith looked up to find a very young and crazy looking Callie standing there. "Callie," Meredith said slowly.

"How do you know my name?" Callie gasped.

Meredith sat up the best she could, cringing as a pain shot into her back. Her wrists were beginning to throb and he head was killing her. She bent over and threw up beside the car. "I should get you to the hospital," Callie said.

"No!" Meredith gasped. "It's nothing! I'm fine!"

Callie tilted her head to the side in confusion. "I don't think you are."

Meredith stood up and looked Callie straight in the eye. "I'm going to try something. I have to make you remember," Meredith said.

"Remember what?" Callie asked in confusion.

"The future," Meredith responded.

"Excuse me?" Callie said, shaking her head. "The future? Is this some kind of joke?"

"I wish," Meredith said. "I'm not crazy."

"And usually when people say they aren't crazy, it means they are," Callie said. "But I'll give you the benifit of the doubt. Tell me about my future," Callie said, almost sarcastically.

"You're gay," Meredith said, unable to pull anything else up.

Callie rolled her eyes, "Yeah right."

Meredith strained her mind to think of something and then she did. "Have you ever been to _Arizona_?" Meredith said.

Callie froze up and then blinked twice before dissapearing. "It worked," Meredith whispered and then got into Callie's car which was left running. "How convenient."

She buckled her seatbelt and pulled out into the night, knowing exactly what she had to do now.

**A/N: Sorry for the short and odd chapter, but now I got the story right where I want it. Please review. Thanks for my wonderful reviewers.**


	15. Izzie and Alex

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

_"Hello?"_

"Alex?" Meredith said in the most preppy voice that she could manage. "It's Izzie."

_"Izzie?"_ he said. _"How did you get my number?"_

Meredith swallowed thickly, straining her voice to sound like Izzie's. But htis was a hard task.

"Phone book!" Meredith sang. "Duh!"

_"This doesn't sound like Izzie!"_ Alex shot back.

"Well it is Izzie you ass!" Meredith spat. "And I really need your help! I need you to meet me in my hospital room in exactly _ten minutes_! Please!"

_"Why? What's wrong? Is that Meredith freak back?"_

"No!" Mereidth spat. "And I'm not a freak! I mean she's not a freak!" Meredith waited a moment, sweating after the mistake that she just made. "I need to talk to someone!" Meredith whined and then went on just like Izzie would. "Please! Please! Please! Please!"

_Click!_

"He hung up on me!" Meredith gasped. "I mean Izzie. I mean me pretending to be Izzie. I mean... wow. I'm talking to myself. Why am I still talking to Izzie?" She blinked once and then shook some sence into her head and redialed Alex's number on Callie's phone.

_"Hello?"_

"Please! Please! Please! Please-" Meredith started again but Alex cut her off.

_"Alright damn it! I'll be out there in ten minutes."_

"Promise?"

_"Good bye Iz. I mean Izzie. I don't know why I just called you that."_

And then he hung up the phone. "Because you still love me," Meredith whispered to herself. "I mean her."

She pulled up in front of the hospital and was instantly amazed by how many police cars there were guarding the area. It reminded her of the day of the shooting.

Meredith parked Callie's car around back and then changed into Callie's sweatshirt that was left in the car as well as Izzie's ID and then went around through the back entrence.

Nobody seemed to notice her as she slowly walked through the hospital. She first checked the room that she had been in before and when she found it filled with police she quickly ran from it and went to the nurses desk and found Olivia sitting there. "Where can I find Isobel Stevens?" she asked the nurse.

"I'm gonna need a name," Olivia said.

Meredith pulled the hood tighter around her head. "I'm her cousin Julie. I just heard that she was attacked and I really need to see her."

"Sorry, visiting hours are over."

"Please," Meredith said, pretending to cry. "I'm begging you. She's the closest thing I have to a sister. I just need to make sure she's okay and then I'll leave."

Olivia sighed and then nodded slowly. "One floor up, room 349," she answered. "But only because you are family."

"Thank you," Meredith croaked and then turned away with a smile on her face.

She walked the steps up one floor and walked down the hall to room 349. Izzie was laying in bed, very drowsy and very out of it. Meredith waited until Alex began making his way down the hall and hten she hid behind a corner and watched.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Alex asked, entering the room.

"What are you talking about?" Izzie slurred.

"You called me," Alex said. "You told me to meet you here."

Izzie looked a bit frightened. "No I didn't," she whispered.

Meredith got closer to the room. Alex bent down next to the bed. "But I just got a call from... but... you called me!"

Izzie's eyes were half shut. "Don't have time for this," she mummbled.

Alex sat down next to the bed, clearly agravated. "Izzie, htis isn't funny. Quit the crap already. You called me!"

Izzie's eyes fluttered shut. "I didn't," she mummbled. "I've been sleepin'."

Alex just shook his head but gave up. "You don't look too good," he muttered.

"Hmm, wonder why," Izzie responded sarcastically.

Alex sighed and moved a peice of hair out of Izzie's face. Her eyes opened and watched him with a stranged look in her eyes as he stroked her hair. "What're you doing?" she asked.

"I... I don't know," Alex admitted and removed his hand from her hair. "I'm sorry."

Izzie just blinked a few times. "It's okay... I guess."

Alex kept staring at her. "I don't know why... but I keep thinking that I've met you before... you know, before the hospital. Before any of it."

"Maybe," Izzie yawned.

Alex kept on shaking his head. "Seeing you in the hospital bed... I odn't know why... it just reminds me of... something."

"What?" Izzie asked. "What does it remind you of?"

Meredith could tell that Izzie was trying hard to keep focus. "Better times," Alex said, barely understanding what he was saying.

"I don't think Meredith is bad," Izzie said, changing the subject. "Just needs help."

"But look what she did to you!"

"Alex, she didn't actually hurt me. She just made me fall asleep for a while. Did the same thing to Bailey."

Alex didn't look like he wanted to accept the answer, but something else distracted him. He kept staring at her lips, his fingers tracing the skin from her ear down her neck and back. Izzie's eyes were wide with shock, the sleepiness seemingly forgotten.

"Iz!" Alex suddenly gasped.

As if Alex couldn't help himself, he leaned down and pressed his lips against Izzie's.

Izzie's eyes grew shot straight open and she was about to push him back, her hands raising up in defence when it seemed to hit her and her arms fell down to her sides and her lips went slack. Alex pulled back and stared into her eyes. "Where are we?" Izzie whispered. "Alex what happened?"

The simultaniously turned to locke yes with Meredith who had tears gushing down her face, knowing that as soon as she returned to where she came from, Alex and Izzie would be no more as a couple, unless she could somehow get them back together. But that was highly unlikely.

They all three shared a moment, tears in everyone's eyes. Then Alex and Izzie began to fade, becoming translucent.

Izzie's hand shot out and grasped Alex's, squeezing tightly. He yanked her into his arms, the last sign of them fading.

Meredith could have sworn she saw Izzie wave, but it was too late to tell.

She just sunk to the ground and began to sob.

That was until she felt arms lock around her and yank her backwards. "Got you!"

**A/N: Who do you think it was that caught her? Review please for a very fast update! Sorry for the short chapter. I had to end it right there.**


	16. The Crash

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

"Cristina!" Meredith gasped, knowing that voice anywhere.

"Help!" Cristina screamed. "Somebody! I got her! I-

Meredith ripped her arm away from Cristina and threw her hand over Crisitna's mouth. She pushed Cristina backwards and they both tumbled over onto the ground.

Cristina was screaming against Meredith's hand. "Crisinta! Shut up!" Meredith hissed. "It's me! Shut up! It's just Meredith. You're _best friend_!"

Cristina pushed Meredith off of her and shouted, "You're crazy!"

"No I'm not," Meredith insisted.

"You have nothing to prove me otherwise!" Cristina said. "You are running from the police, knowing people out, trying to kill yourself, and calling yourself my best friend."

Meredith slowly back away and frowned. "You're not my best friend," she whispered softly. "That was the wrong wroding. I'm sorry. Maybe the right wording would be 'my person'."

Cristina opened her mouth to deny by then her eyes met Meredith's and she fell silent. "Burke said he's sorry," Meredith went on, tears blurring her vision. "He said he loved you so much and he wasn't good enough for you."

Crisitna just shook her head slowly. "Mer?" she whispered and then vanished.

Meredith fell forwards and did a flace plant into the ground. "Ow," she mummbled. "Can anything else go wrong?"

"Hey you!" a man yelled.

"Why did I say that?" Meredith muttered.

She stood up, whiping blood from her face that was dripping from her nose. She started running as fast as her feet and sore body would take her.

She stumbled down the stairs, hearing the footsteps growing louder behind her.

She took all of the short cuts she knew, cutting through hallways, taking back entrences, and eventually diving into a storage closet.

George stood there holding medical suplies, mouth wide open.

Meredith dove forwards, throwing her hand over his mouth and backing him up against the wall.

George tried to talk against her hand but she couldn't understand and he owuld be too loud if she removed her hand.

"Shh," Meredith shushed him.

George rolled his eyes, grabbed her other hand, and began writing something in it.

Meredith stopped breathing and tears rolled down her cheeks. "You don't remember?" she whispered.

He just stared into her eyes, a sad look in his. Her hand fell to her side. George took her by surprise and hugged her to him.

"I've missed you Meredith," he whispered.

"I missed you too," Meredith sobbed, squeazing him tightly.

She tried to hold onto this moment, memorize everything that there was to know about George.

And all at once, he was gone.

Meredith slammed into the wall. "Ow! Come on!" she growled.

She stood up and began counting all of the people in her life that weren't standing in her away any longer. Mark, Arizona and Owen weren't there to stand in her way so they didn't count.

Burke, Cristina, George, Izzie, Lexie, Reed, Alex... who else?

Bailey.

Meredith left the room and tiptoed through the hallway, searching through hospital rooms, looking for Bailey who had been knocked out from the sedative.

But of course, Bailey had refused to lie in bed like Izzie. Instead, she was sitting in a wheelchair in the hallway.

"Dr. Bailey," Richard was saying to her. "You should get some rest after what just happened."

"No!" Bailey insisted. "I am fine right where I am. I-

"Guys!" Meredith stopped them.

They both turned to her in shock. Richard opened his mouth to yell but Meredith stopped him. "Wait!" she insisted. "Just hear me out. You," she pointed to Richard. "You are just going to have to believe me because I have no proof for you. But you know me and my mother. So just trust me. Please."

Richard was looking at her strangely, his mouth glued shut. Meredith felt her throat closing in on her. He had to remember her. Of all people, he always knew her. "Please," she cried, throwing her arms around him. "Please Richard. You know me. You're the closest thing I had to a father."

Richard slowly moved a hand up and pressed it into the small of her back. She closed her eyes and clung on tighter. Richard slowly pulled back and stared at her sadly. "I don't remember you," he finally said. "But I _do_ believe you."

Meredith held back a sob. She turned to Bailey, but she had already dissapeared. "She rememebred, " Meredith whispered.

"You do what you have to do," Richard whispered to her. "I won't stand in your way. But you have to go _now_."

Meredith nodded. He was on her side. "Thank you," she croaked, and turned to run.

There was only one more person that was on her list of people who had to remember so she could get back.

"Derek,"Meredith whispered as she ran through the front door.

And there he was, crossing the street from the hospital to the bar.

"Derek," Meredith said, but he didn't here her. "Derek!"

He still kept walking, not turning to looka t her once. Meredith took a deep rbeath and used every ounce of energy she had left to scream, "_DEREK!_"

Derek spun around in the parking lot and his shocked eyes met hers... right before the car crashed into him.

**A/N: I know, short chpater, but alot happened and I had to end it right there. Sorry for the long wait, but now that summer's here, I will have SO much more time to write. Only a few chapters left and then it will be over.**


	17. All you can do is keep breathing

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

"Derek!" Meredith shrieked, rushing through the street without even looking both ways.

She fell to her knees- scraping them in the process- beside his motionless figure. "Derek," Meredith whimpered, hesitantly placing her hand on his knee.

He was covered in a bloody mess. He had a huge gash across his forehead and blood seeped from it, creating a puddle on the ground around it. A ragged wound was splayed across his stomach. Bruises and scrapes covered the rest of him.

The driver from the car that hit him swung the door open and fought the airbag out of the way before she ran out of the car. She had blond hair and deep blue eyes. "Oh crap!" she shrieked. "I killed him! Did I kill him? I did, didn't I?"

"Shut up!" Meredith yelled. "Just shut up."

The woman fell silent and began shaking with tears as Meredith turned back to Derek. A tear fell down her face and landed on his chest. His eyes fluttered open.

He tried to say something, but the words wouldn't allow themselves out of his mouth. "What?" Meredith gasped. "What did you say? Derek?"

Derek's eyes opened a bit wider and he kept trying to get air in as he rasped, "Help! Help me please! Somebody!" in a voice so faint that only the driver of the car could hear.

"Derek!" Meredith stopped him. "It's me! Derek please!"

Meredith turned to the driver. "Get help!" she cried. "Call 911! Go to the hospital across the street! Just get us help!"

The woman opened and shut her mouth a few times, tears in her eyes, before she nodded and ran to retrieve her phone.

Derek's eyes were half shut, becoming more and more lidded as he lost more blood. Meredith ripped off a peice of her shirt and pressed it to the wound on his head.

"Please," Derek mummbled. "Just l-leave. I want n-no trouble Mer-rideth."

"I'm not gonna hurt you," Meredith cried.

Derek's eyes nearly fell shut but Meredith shook him to keep him awake.

"Stay awake!" Meredith told him. "Do. Not. Die. You hear me? You die, I die."

Derek's eyes fixed on hers and it all clicked. Those words had been said by her before. _You die, I did._ The gun. Gary Clark.

Which all led them back to...

"Mer?" Derek whispered, the recognition clicking in his eyes.

Meredith's eyes grew very wide. "You remember?" she whispered, a smile playing at her lips. "You remember."

Derek's eyes were shutting. "So sorry I... I forgot..."

"It's okay," Meredith whimpered. "It wasn't your fault. The important thing is that you remember. So go back now. Go back to the present."

Derek's breathing was deep and labored. His voice fell into a whisper, losing sound as each word passed. "Don't know how," he whispered. "But... you... do."

His eyes rolled back into his head and his breathing fell still. "Der?" Meredith whispered, shaking him a bit. "Derek? _Derek? DEREK?_"

She tried to think of ways to revive him. She could do CPR, but even she knew that he had lost too much blood to bring him back.

"No!" Meredith cried, falling over onto his body. "Derek! No-o-o!"

The girl from the car ran over to them, looking so clueless, reminding Meredith of April. "They are sending an ambulance right now," she anounced, smiling. But that quickly faded. "Wait... what's wrong?"

Meredith forced herself to her feet and grabbed the woman by her arms, shaking her. "He's dead!" she shrieked.

The girl's eyes were big and wide. "You mean... I killed her?"

"No!" Meredith cried. "Don't you get it? I did! If I had never made that stupid wish in the first place, none of this would ever happened!"

Once again, she just blinked. "Wish?"

Meredith released the girl's arms and turned away from her. That's when it all seemed to hit her.

She was lost in this strange universe with no place back, her friends were gone, and the man she loved was dead.

"No!" Meredith shouted, falling to her knees and turning her face towards the sky.

A rain drop hit her cheek. It was followed by another. Her tears and sobs followed them. She reached for Derek's hand.

"You want to hear it?" Meredith screamed to the sky, choking on sobs. "You _really_ want to hear it? I had _everything_!"

The whole world seemed to fade from around her and it was just hear, the sky, and Derek's motionless body. "I had my friends who were practically my family. I had people to turn to. I had a man who loved me unconditionally and already chose me for his own. We even wanted a baby." She bit her lip. "I was having a bad day. I lost a patient. I let everything get to me. I thought this time was easier. But it's not. My life was never easy and I worked so hard to get to where I was."

A tear slowly fell down her cheek. "I want to go back," she whispered. "I want to go back! I _loved_ my life! My friends, my family... Derek... they are my life." She squeezed Derek's hand harder. "I wish I never made that _stupid_ wish."

The rain began to pur down harder, so much that it was blinding her vision. She felt Derek's hand vanish from ehrs and she looked down to find him gone. She opened her mouth to scream, but something caught her voice.

Her eyes slowlyshifted around her to find that everyone else was gone to. It was just her, all alone and completely terrified. But for the first time in a long time... she felt almost... peaceful.

The rain seemed to swirl around her, engulfing her and pulling her down into nothingness.

The last thing she saw before she vanished was a star shooting across the sky.

**A/N: Bare with me. Review please.**


	18. Back

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

Meredith's eyes shot straight open, expecting to find rain pouring down over her. Expecting to ifnd a bloodied and dead Derek. Expecting to be faced with the horrible reality that she had had to live with for days. Expecting... well... anything but this.

The pure silence swarmed her with her scream still caught in her throat.

She stopped breathing, sitting up and peering around the bright bathroom. She slowly sat up in the bathtub and looked around the room, immediately hit with a horribly strange sence of de ja veus. "What the hell?" she whispered.

Her eyes traveled over to the side where something white caught her eyes. She reached her dripping wet hand from the water and grasped the object in her and, feeling her head spin with confusion.

Had she blacked out?

What happened to the world she was just living in? She hadn't blacked out! She couldn't have! And Derek had freaking died!

Meredith was ready to jump out of the water, btu froze when she really looked at the object in her hand.

It was a pregnancy test.

And it had a small red plus sign on it.

"What?" Meredith whispered. "Is this mine?"

And without even really thining, she just _knew_ that it was hers. And she knew what it meant.

"I'm pregnant?" she whispered, jumping out of the tub, drying off with her towel, putting a robe on, about to run from the bathroom when...

She stopped and looked at her reflection in the miror. Her side bangs were gone. Her hair was back to the way she recently had it cut, with bangs and a shorter cut to her shoulders. The first sign wrinkles were back on her face. And for the first time, she greated them with open arms.

"I'm back!" she yelled! "I'm back! I'm back! I'm back!"

She jumped up and down, her robe becoming lose as she danced around the bathroom screaming.

"_Meredith_?" Footsteps echoed down the hall. "_Meredith! It's Alex! Are you okay?"_ Alex called form outside the bathroom. "_Can I-_

Before he could finish his sentence, Meredith through open the door, catching him off guard.

"Alex!" she cried, throwing her arms around him and clinging to him, seperated by nothing but the thin fabric of her bathrobe.

"Whoa! Mer, is everything okay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! I'm back!" Meredith said, trying to get Alex to understand as she sqeuazed him tighter.

"Back?" Alex said. "What do you mean back? I mean I know you were upset abotu losing the patient but-

"The patient? Oh yeah! It's okay! Life goes on," Meredith said, leaning back to look him in the eyes. "Oh, and I'm pregnant."

"Y-you're... you're what?" Alex stammered.

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" Meredith demanded happilly. "Oh I'm just kidding! You're an amazing friend and the first to know! Want proof?"

Meredith shoved the pregnancy teast at him.

"Whoah! Meredith, I _really_ don't need to see a stick that you peed on!" Alex said, grossed out as he backed away from him.

"Of course!" Meredith gasped, and then began to move past him, pausing to look him straight in the eye. "I know you're going through a rough time right now Alex, but you're a good guy, and you just have to let the girl see that. Even if that girl is someone you've just met. Even if she's Izzie."

"Izize?" Alex gasped. "Meredith why would you bring up-

"Because, you two were always meant to be and I know you miss her! I can see it! But know matter what you do, I will still love you because you are Alex!" Meredith grabbed his head and kissed the top of it without even thinking. Alex stood there dumb founded. "Don't ever change!" Meredith cried and then began laughing as she ran past him and into the hallway, stopping to add one more thing. "Oh! And don't _ever_ flirt with me again."

She heard him mutter, "Pregnancy hormones already" from behind her, but payed it no attention.

She ran straight into April and Jackson, smiling when she saw them. "Reed was a nice person," she said. "She always meant good, even if she called the cops on you... she was just confused. But she loved you guys."

Jackson looked at April, both with their mouths hanging open in confusion.

Meredith ran toward's Lexie's room next.

"Lexie?" she called, banging on Lexie's door. "Lexie! Are you home?"

"She's not home!" Jackson called. "She left me, took Mark back. She's probably at his house!"

"Aw, good for her. You two were both too hard headed for each other anyways," Meredith smiled, lookign at April who walked up behind Jakcosn. "You two should date," she shrugged. "Oh, and I'm pregnant!" she giggled, rushing towards the stairs.

She took two at a time as she ran down them. Her foot slipped on one of the steps and she lost her balance, falling and rolling down the rest. She landed on the ground at the bottom, staring up at the ceiling. The lights were blurred for amoment, everything spinning around her. And all she could do was smile, seeing Derek emerge from all of the blurriness as he walked through the front door. "Der," she mummbled. "Do you still remember?"

"Holy crap! Meredith, are you okay?"

Meredith blinked away the blurriness and nodded, smling as Derek bent down beside her, automatically adjusting her bathrobe to cover her better as he looked at her pupils. "Well you're pupils look okay..." he said slowly. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm just happy to see that you are okay. And guess what, I'm back! And pregnant."

"Did you hit you're head?" Derek asked, suddenly worried.

Meredith knew she soudned crazy but backed herself up by passing the pregnancy test to him. Derek's eyes widened as Mereidith sat up.

"You're really pregnant?" he gasped.

"Yes" Meredith shrieked, throwing her arms around him just as her person let herself right into the house.

"Whoa! I see bitch baby tears. Don't tell me-

"I'm pregnant!" Meredith announced, jumping from the ground and throwing herself at Cristina. "Do you still hate me?"

"I'm sorry, tell me again when I hated you?" Cristina said. "I mean... I know I was cranky today but-

"Meredith are you sure you didn't hit your head?" Derek asked, standing from the ground and holding Meredith's head still to look her in the eyes.

"No!" Meredith assured him. "I am fine. F-I-N-E! Fine! Actually more than fine! I'm _great_! I've never been better Derek! Really! And now that I am-" _back_ "Perfectly happy and fine... will you please kiss me?"

Derek gave her an odd look, but didn't deny her of that as he leane din and pressed his lips to hers.

And the world faded. She melted in his arms, losing her balanced and falling against him. "That's it! I knew you hit you're head!"

"It's not that," Meredith whispered with tears in her eyes. "It's you."

"Me? What did I do?" Derek questioned, confused.

"No, it's not that. You're amazing in every way! I'm so lucky to have you."

"Okay- _gag_!" Cristina spat. "I need food. I'm helping myself to your frindge."

"Okay," Meredith giggled.

She looked over Derek's shoulder to see Lexie and Mark trying and fialing to sneek into the house.

"Lexie! Mark!" Meredith squealed, letting the whole house know that they were there as she thew herself at both of them, wrapping them all into a hug. "Lexie, I know I've been a bithc in the past but you are the best sister ever and I'm so happy that you remember me and are no longer in college. ANd Mark it's so good to see you again."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mark asked.

"I'm pregnant!" Meredith said happily.

"And she hit her head," Derek added, scooping Meredith into his arms. "I think we should take you to the hospital."

"Okay! We can see Bailey and Richard and Owen and everyone else that didn't remember me."

"What is she talking about?" Lexie questioned.

"Derek," Mark said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Do you remember when I said that one of these days she was finaly going to lose it? They all do at some point. Right Lexie?"

Lexie scowled. "Okay, that was one time!" she huffed.

"Are we going or not?" Meredith demanded.

"Lexie," Derek said. "Go grab Meredith some clothes from our room please. And Mark, will you come with us in case she passes out or something in the car."

"Sure man," Mark said and followed after Derek as they walked out ot the car.

Meredith closed her eyes and leaned against Derek's chest, taking in his scent and knowing that she was back.

Everything was back to the way it hsould be.

Only better.

**A/N: One or two chapters left. Haven't decided yet. Just please review.**


	19. Memories

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

Meredith lay across the back seat, head in Mark's lap and feet at the window. "Derek?" she mummbled.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

She smiled, looking up at Mark who seemed uncomfortable and then met Derek's eyes in the rearview miror. "I'm good."

"Honestly?"

"Yes! Derek I'm fine! Really!" She turned over a bit and closed her eyes.

"Mer, you fell down the steps. That doesn't seem fine to me."

Mark huffed a sigh loudly, clearly annyoed. "Man, I think she's fine. She's talking crazy but she's fine."

"I'm not crazy," meredith sang for the millionth time. "I wish I could make you remember but it's probably better that you don't."

"You are talking rather crazy," Derek said, looking in the rearview mirror.

"Would you focus on the road?" Meredith giggled.

Derek sighed, turning the mirror back to how it was before and focusing on the road like Meredith said.

"Do you ever imagine whatyou would say if you lost someone and got to see them one last time?" Meredith whispered to Mark. "If you could go back in time?"

"I'd probably warn them not to get killed," Mark shrugged, smirking a bit.

"But don't you see Mark? This is the present. everything happens for a reason. And until you accept that what happened is bound to happen, you can never _really_ move on. Until you accept that they're gone, they can never _really_ be gone. You just have to love what life has given you."

Mark furrowed his brows and then nodded. "Yeah, you definately hit your head."

Meredith rolled her eyes and turned away from him. He didn't process any of that. "The first time I've seen you in over a week and I remember why it was so quiet when you weren't here," she mummbled, mostly to herself.

"What are you tlaking about? I saw you yesterday!" Mark pointed out.

"Meredith, you are really starting to worry me," Derek said from the front seat.

"You two are so agrivating," Meredith grumbled, covering her face. "You're just lucky I love you."

Despite everything, Meredith saw Derek smiling in the mirror at her.

That's when the strangest thing happened.

_"Derek," she whimpered. "Why does life have to be so upsetting lately? I mean... look at us! Izzie left! George died! Lexie practically hates Mark! And I can't get pregnant for my life! Why? What happened to the days when we were interns? When everything was simple?"_

_"Nothing was simple Mer. There was Addison and-_

_"I get it, okay? There was Addison and Mark slept with her and bla bla bla. But I was carefree and happy and I had all my friends. And to be honest Derek, sometimes... I wish I could just go back to those days!" Her consciousness began to waver. "Back to when it was all so simple._

* * *

_You're face!" she yelled._

_"What? What about it?" Derek gapsed in shock, wiping his hands across it._

_"It's so young! And your hair! It longer! What the hell happened to you?"_

_"What are you talking about? We've never met before in our lives!" Derek exclaimed. "What, is this some kind of joke or something?"_

* * *

_Ooh, someone's dissapointed," Derek teased._

_"No I'm not."_

_"Oh I think you are."_

_"And I think that if you ever want to sleep with me again, we need to have dinner first."_

* * *

_"That morning, after I slept with you... that happened over five years ago." Derek backed up and shook his head in pure disbelief as if she was crazy. "Currently, we are married... well sort of. We signed our vowls on a post-it note. And we are trying to have a baby. And George is dead. And so is the man that we picked up off the floor in the restaurant tonight. Addison is long gone and lives in Los Angeles. And the first time I found out about her, I was not this cool about it. In fact, we broke up and you went back to your wife and we shared a dog and you called me a whore and then we cheated together in an on-call room. I found out about Addison because she came here and walked up to us. You chose her over me after I finally forgave you."_

_Derek rolled in his eyes and shook his head again. "I'm sorry Meredith about Addison. I trully am. But no woman is worth this type of crazy."_

* * *

_"Mer?" Derek whispered, the recognition clicking in his eyes._

_Meredith's eyes grew very wide. "You remember?" she whispered, a smile playing at her lips. "You remember."_

_Derek's eyes were shutting. "So sorry I... I forgot..."_

_"It's okay," Meredith whimpered. "It wasn't your fault. The important thing is that you remember. So go back now. Go back to the present."_

_Derek's breathing was deep and labored. His voice fell into a whisper, losing sound as each word passed. "Don't know how," he whispered. "But... you... do."_

...

Meredith shook her head, shocked by the sudden memory. Her eyes met Derek's in the mirror and she was surprised to see that she wasn't the only one who had had the flash back.

Derek had too.

"Do you remember?" Meredith whispered, completely forgetting about Mark.

Derek's eyes were wide and his focus wasn't on the road.

Which is why he didn't see the truck heading towards them until it crashed intot he side of the car and everything went black.

**A/N: Sooo... I had one more idea to giev the story a bit more drama before I ended it. So... yeah. so sorry for not updating. i had writers block. please review for an update!**


	20. Choices

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

Meredith slowly opened her eyes, finding herself standing in the hospital hallway wearing scrubs.

She turned from side to side slowly, watching as the walls blurred into one long line of color. She spun quickly, trying to find where she was, trying to find anything.

Then she remembered.

_The car crash!_

"Derek!" Meredith screamed.

"So I guess I'm not who you were looking for," a voice said from behind her.

She turned towards it, feeling her body hault to a stop when she saw who it was. "Denny?" she whispered.

He shook his head slowly, rolling his eyes and chuckling to himself. "Always cleaning up your messes," he mummbled.

"I'm here again?" Meredith gasped, remembering when she drowned. "But why?"

"Because you were having doubts in life. And you got to see what life could be like if you got to go back; how great it would be. And now I've been sent to tell you that it's time to make a choice."

Meredith gaped. "But I already made my choice. You heard it."

"And the second you get to comfortable, you will make the wrong one again."

Denny shook his head and nodded behind Meredith. When she turned around, she saw a long line of people frozen in odd pozes.

At the beginning of the line, she saw George. The way he smiled with that awkward grin of his. He had a hand in his pocket and his eyes were facing the ground, the way he always used to when he got nervous.

Mereidht turned around to fce Denny but he had vanished from sight.

As Meredith turned back, she walked down the long line of people slowly.

Next she found Cristina who wore a glare on her face. Owen was next to her, hugging his arms aroudn her while she didn't return the hug. But Meredith saw the gleam in her eye.

When she turned back to George, he stepped forwards and nodded at her before vanishing. She walked towards the next person, watching as Cristina Owen unfroze, pulling Cristina tightly to him and as Cristina scowled but gave in.

Next was Lexie and Mark.

Then April and Jackson.

Then Izzie and Alex.

Bailey.

Richard.

And finally Derek.

The rest of them had vanished.

Derek slowly unfroze and then stepped towards Meredith, reaching his hand towards her.

It got clsoer and closer, just nearly about to touch right where her heart was when...

Meredith's eyes snapped open and she gasped in air. She felt like she hadn't breathed in forever. Everything ached.

There were blurry figures standing over her.

Meredith slowly looked around, hearing voices that sounded far away.

Her eyes landed on one of the figures that was being held back by a taller one. She blinked a few times, finally seeing into the first one's eyes.

He had tears in them and was frozen in place. The rest of them suddenly were as well.

Meredith felt the pain vanish and sat up on the stretcher that she lay on in the hospital room.

Derek was held back by Mark who both had bits of blood on their skin. Derek had tears in his eyes and was mid-screaming. Mark had his eyes shut tightly, holding Derek back.

Bailey and Richard were standing over her. Bailey held paddles in her hands. Lexie was behind Mark, peering into the room lookign like she was in shock.

Cristina had run into the room and hiding her eyes against Owen who was watching the whole thing. Alex was standing near them, clearly about to push Cristina out but had stopped when he took one look at Meredith.

"Alot of people love you," Denny said, wlaking through the room.

Meredith looked at him, eyes wide with shock.

"You should never want to give this up," Denny said. "All of these people are practically your family. You are one lucky girl."

"I took it for grantit," Meredeith whimpered as a tear ran donw her cheek. "All of this was righ tin the palm of my hands and I elt it slip through my fingers."

"And you can still get it back," Denny said. "You are allowed a choice. You can stay here and pick up where this left off..."

Meredith blinked once and then lost her cool. "Or?"

"Or you can go back," Denny said. "Do it all over gain from the veyr beginning. Except his time you can do it right."

Meredith's eyes widened.

"But there are no do overs this time," Denny said. "So if you mess up, you mess up. If you die that's how people will remember you as from that life. This life will have never existed. It could be very good or very risky. But if you stay here... who knows what happened to the baby. There's alot of reality that you may have to face."

Meredith just stared, swallowing thickly.

"I'll give you some time to think it over. When you make your decision, you will go right back to that life without a second thought. So choose wisely."

Denny walked over and placed a hand on Meredith's shoulder. "As much as I'd like to help, this is one mess that only you can cleen up."

Denny vanished before her, leaving her in the frozen world. She slowly stood and walked to the bathroom, passing frozen people and staring at her reflection in the mirror.

She was covered in blood and had many gashes and wounds. She pressed her hand against her stomach and a warm feeling flowed through her.

"Hey baby," she whispered. "You better have made it through the accident."

Her reflection morphed into the one she saw that morning when she first woke up with Derek and found herself in an interns body.

The messy, disheveled hair. The big not-so-innocent eyes.

She walked out of the bathroom, hand still over he stomach, She walked to Derek and pressed a hand to his arm.

"I want to stay," she whispered. "It's just..." She blinked away tears. "If I stay... if the baby is gone... I don't know how I'll get through it..."

She stared into Derek's eyes, seeing the way he loved her, seeing the way he cared.

That's when it hit her.

She had done everythign right from the beginning. Scary things happened these days. But when Izzie got cancer and left, it was nothign that Meredith did. When George died, it was nothing that Meredith did. It was meant to happen.

And if she lost the baby,t hen that would be meant to happen... for whatever reason. But Derek would help her get through it.

Meredith slowly walked back over to the stretcher and lay down, closing her eyesn and pressing one hand to her stomach where the baby was and the other to her heart.

The scene burst into action.

_Beep... beep... beep..._


	21. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN IT!**

_"She wasn't crazy Bailey. I told her she hit her head. I thought she did... but then I remembered."_

_"Remember? Remember what?"_

_"I saw a... vision of... something. It's hard to explain. But the point is, I didn't believe her. And now she might not wake up."_

_"I don't know what exactly you're talking about but what I do know is that she loves you very much Derek. Have some faith is the girl. Tell her you're here for her. As a doctor, I'm not supposed to say that she will definately wake up but... I believe in her. Meredith Grey is one of the strongest people I know. All you can do right now is just sit here and hold her hand. She'll wake up."_

The first thing that Meredith felt was the pressure on her hand and the throbbing in her head.

She forced all of her energy into her hand and wiggled her fingers, feeling whatever was on her hand grab it tighter.

"Mer?" a voice said and it was so close to her ear. "Mer, it's me. Can you hear me? It's Derek."

Meredith forced one eye open and felt the light burn it. She groaned and shut her eyes.

"Meredith?"

"Derek?" she mummbled back, her voice barely a whisper.

She asked the first question that came to hre mind and forced it out before the nerves could get the best of her. "Baby?"

"What?" Derek questioned. "What did you say?"

"Did... the baby... make it?" she got out.

Derek squeezed her hand and whispered, "There were complications."

_No! No! No!_

"But the baby made it," Derek finished.

Meredith opened her eyes again and they locked on Derek's blurry face. "Thank God," she said, blinking back tears.

Derek's eyes took on an uncomfortable look. "Mer," Derek started. "I am _so_ sorry for not believeing you. You tried to tell me. You tried to tell me in that world and in this one."

"You chose Addison," Meredith said sadly.

"I know. I didn't understand and I chose wrong. Please forgive me," Derek begged.

Meredith forced a smile. "I could never stay mad at you," she assured him. "So you remember everything?"

Derek smirked. "First time we woke up in your living room. First date. We got to relive it."

"So you remember getting hit by the car?" Meredith asked, locking eyes with him.

Derek nodded slowly. "I guess having you standing over me the way you were... I felt like I was the luckiest guy in the world. I felt safe. I recognized that feeling. I remembered you."

A single tear rolled down Meredith's cheek. "Just please tell me that you don't have anymore whishes."

Meredith smiled a bit. "Just one," she said. "I wish that I oculd keep you forever."

Derek smiled. "Wish granted," he chuckled and leaned down to kiss her.

As they slowly pulled away, Merediht noticed something behind Derek's back. "Cristina?" she said.

"Hey," Cristina said. "I came to see if you woke up yet and... well you did. Hey McDreamy, you mind if I have a moment alone with your wife?"

Derek sighed deeply and smirked, kissing Meredith one more time. "I'll be back," he assured her.

Meredith watched him walk out of the door and then turned her attention to Cristina. "You had me freaking out," Cristina said. "I thought I freaking lost you."

"I'm sorry," Meredith said. "But I'm alive."

Cristina dropped into the chair next to Meredith. "Whatever happened to when we were interns and everything was so easy?" Cristina groaned.

Meredith took a deep breath. "Nothign was easy back then," she reminded her. "Always getting yelled at. Having to make friends and enemies. Trying to keep the men you loved who were also attendings."

"Yeah, but O'Malley was alive. Izzie was here. Etcetera. Etcetera."

"Just trust me," Meredith said. "It's better now. Whatever happened was meant to happen."

Cristina shrugged. "Whatever," she sighed. "I'm just happy to have you awake."

"I'm happy to be awake," Meredith agreed, running her fingers over her belly. "And my baby made it."

Cristina nodded. "McBaby made it through. I hope he has his hair."

"Me too," Meredith said, sounding hopeful.

"You know what would be cool?" Cristina started.

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"If we had more control around here. If we could run this hospital. Can you imagine?"

"Yes I suppose that would be fun."

"It definately would," Cristina said. "Yeah. you know what I wish?"

Meredith opened her mouth to protest but she was too late as Crisitna finished her sentence and said, "I wish I could be the cheif of surgery."

**A/N: Okay, so I had to have a funny ending. That's it for the story. I hope you guys enjoyed it.**

**Please review one last time!**


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